Hellllllooooooo Grits!!!!!

Ahhhh, here I sit one week and a day post-op.  I am nothing short of AMAZED by the stark contrast between how I felt last Friday versus how I am feeling today.  The field of medicine is pretty miraculous, really.

Tuesday-Thursday Sept. 2-4th

These days all seemed pretty similar.....liquid diet of chicken broth, sugar free popsicles, sugar free Jell-o and protein shakes.  I struggled to get out of bed on my own.  Kevin had to help me up each morning before he left for work.  Mom came to help me on Tuesday and Wednesday.  Abbie came on Thursday.  Their jobs consisted of helping me move the laptop when I need it on me, helping fetch me things and helping me if I needed assistance using the restroom.  AGAIN, I don't know where I'd be without them.  I cannot thank them enough; and my lifetime indebtedness to them I'll never be able to repay.

Each day seemed like I got a little stronger; but there is definitely one side of me that remains very sore and painful, as if the slightest movement pulls on the internal and external incisions/binding, etc.  I have trouble standing for very long, twisting my mid section or reaching and bending.  I tend to walk holding the sore side more.

I've been very tired, in part due to the lack of nutrition and the shock of all this to my metabolism, which the doctor says is normal.  And also waking when Kevin leaves for work has made me tired during the day, too.  Each day gets a little easier.

Tuesday and Wednesday Mom and I just chilled around the house:  talking, watching HGTV, etc.  The days were probably boring as hell for her; but they passed pretty quickly for me.

Thursday, Abbie stayed with me.  We did much of the same talked, read magazines, etc to pass the time.  My dear friend, Henry Peer came by for a nice visit between sales calls he was making that day.  He had me laughing, right off the bat.  Damn, it hurt to laugh; but he said I should expect nothing less from him.  We visited for a couple of hours; and then he had to set off for a 2 pm appointment.  Our conversation was quite stimulating with him talking more about his work in the field of medicine and what exactly he does.  Abbie learned more about him; and I was just fascinated.  His visit was good laughs and good medicine.  Again, I am BLESSED to have great friends and family.

I managed to go without pain meds most all of Tuesday except for at bedtime.  Wednesday I broke down and took some in the afternoon.  Thursday I did well until bedtime again.

Overall I seemed to do okay with the week one diet of liquids but I was MORE than ready to progress to the week two plan if the doctor would bless me.

I did have one small episode of constipation.  I told you I wasn't sugarcoating or eliminating the "private details".  This is to help anyone who considers a similar path, remember. For the most part I was starting to be able to wipe my own bum.  But then, after the one hour quest to poop, I decided to take a stool softener.  The label said to take 1-3.  I landed in the middle and took two.  So after Kevin fed me my chicken broth and popsicle for dinner (while I watched him eating tamales from a can smothered in cheese.....and proceeded to DROOL), I needed to use the restroom.  I had a soft stool and needed assistance in cleaning myself afterward.  Kevin to the rescue.  Men, know that when you say I do, it will me ALL kinds of crazy shit for your spouse in their time of need.  Fortunately for me, I have a husband who make me laugh.  So as he's doing the dirty job of wiping my bum, he blurts out, "it's like wiping Fox's ass on steroids!".  I proceeded to BUST up laughing.  Laughing is painful.  I am so thankful that he can keep moments like that light, though.  I needed that, even if it was a slam, it was FUNNY.  After that we went to bed!!!!  Too much fun for one day.

I've been showered in love and gifts.  Below is a beautiful candle I got from Daniela, Steffen, Noah and Lara.  And below that are flowers from Abbie and Jaimey that came with a Schnucks gift card (to help me with the new foods I'll need to be buying).  Awesome heartfelt gifts.

Friday-September 5th     ONE WEEK FOLLOW UP with the DOCTOR

Today, since I was able to get myself up our of bed now, I stayed in bed when Kevin went to work.  I fell back asleep but woke when my mom rang the doorbell.  She came to help me but also accompany me to my one week follow up at the doctor's.

My appointment was at 1 pm but they called and asked me to come in sooner.  We agreed on 12:20 pm.  I was in the shower when they phoned; but called them back.

Showers take a lot out of me.  I take them; but skip shaving and do the basics since surgery.  But today, I had to shower, wash my hair AND shave since I had to leave the house.  This proved to be challenging; and it took every ounce of energy I had.  I was WIPED out when I got out of the shower.  So I layed down for 15 minutes to catch my breath.  I was sore from bending and such even though I do have a chair in my shower.  Then I forced myself to get up, brush my teeth, do my hair and get dressed.  Again, it wiped me out; but I had to get to the doctors.  Mom drove me down to Des Peres to the appointment.  So far I hadn't had anything to eat and no pain meds.

I've never gotten in and out of Dr. Scott's office so fast.  He was caught up in surgeries all day; so I saw Lily instead.  First I stepped on the scale and had my BP taken.  I was surprised to discover that I had lost TWENTY THREE pounds since my starting weight of 356 (which is considered my weight when I began seeing the doc) and 16 lbs since my last appointment.  But I was more excited to see my mom's face.  She was happy for me.  Needless to say, I am thrilled, as well.

Lily said the incisions looked "beautiful".  NOT exactly how I'd describe them; but I'll take the compliment.  No infections or anything of concern there.  And the BEST part is, she said I was able to progress to the next level/week in my plan.  This means I can introduce additional foods to my eating plan.  They call it FULL LIQUID stage or Week 2 Post Op.  Aside from the things I was allowed to have last week:  protein shakes, broths, sugar free popsicles, sugar free Jell-O and tea....I can now ALSO have sugar free pudding, grits, cream of wheat, blended soups (lentil, black bean, vegetable, etc), greek yogurt with no fruit (plain vanilla or <9g sugar), thin oatmeal, vegetable juice, thin unsweetened applesauce, sugar free hot chocolate and sugar free fudgcicles.  Can you hear the angels singing?   I can!!!  Oh the little things I celebrate now.

First thing I had when we got home from the doctor's was cream of wheat and a fudgesicle.  It was nice to actually enjoy a quasi meal.  I felt satisfied with it (no hunger pangs).  I am to start taking my bariatric vitamins daily now and B12 nasal spray weekly.  I take Iron, Calcium with Citrate and a Multi Vitamin, all chewable (eww) plus the B12 spray.  That should be all I need to supplement my diet moving forward.

Every week on Friday, if I have done well with that week's diet, I am allowed to progress to the next week/level.  Next week I look forward to adding eggs, Natural nut butters (no sugar or oil added), soft baked fish (cod, tilapia), mashed potatoes, low fat soft cheese (cottage, string or sliced), canned vegetables, canned fruit in their own juice and banana.  At least each week I have something to look very forward to.  I can live a week on each new option.

Tonight we have Noah overnight (my "adopted" son who chose me as his 2nd mom) and Fox for the weekend.  My friends Kelli and Brett are coming over to visit us after dinner.  It will be nice.  Kevin is going to make tacos for the boys.  My mom was kind enough to make some sugar-free pistachio pudding before she left.  So I plan on having that and some Grits for dinner and possibly a fudgesicle.  I may have some protein shake, too just to make sure I've gotten some protein in today.  I didn't have breakfast.

I'll keep you posted on what the next week brings; but I'm hoping it will bring me more strength, less pain and the ability to get out of the house for an hour here or there.

I plan on returning to work on September 15th, barring any complications.  I need to call the doctor Monday and make sure they will have the paperwork read for my return to work on the 15th.

Other than that, I'm following doctor's instruction by the book and so far it seems to be working well.

Still being surprised with visits and flowers, below is a pic of the flowers I got from good friends, Kelli and Brett Eckman and family.

As for my saga, well........To be continued..............

Operation Save Lori-GO TIME

So I won't bore you with many more details of the pre-op diet.  They were pretty much all the same and very do-able for me.  I drank a lot of chicken broth, ate a lot of Popsicles, dabbled with a little jello and relied on protein shakes to get me by.  I survived!

The night before surgery I was given instructions not to eat or drink anything after midnight and to shower in the evening and in the morning with anti-bacterial soap.  So I made a special trip to Walgreens for anti-bacterial soap (my brand of choice, Caress, didn't meet the criteria).  Imagine my surprised when I scoured the shelves only to discover they had only two brands to choose from:  Dial and Safeguard.  I grabbed a two pack of Safeguard (on sale for $1) and went my merry way.  I have sensitive skin; and it does NOT like Dial products for some reason.

The nurse phoned me the day before my surgery to advise that I was scheduled for a 10 am surgery and would need to be at the hospital by 7:30 am.  Later they called to bump me to 11 am, with an 8:30 am arrival time.  I was ok with that as it allowed me more time to sleep in, in the morning.

Kevin's boss would not allow him the day off as he (the boss) was scheduled to go to Seattle that week on business.  His comment to Kevin was, "doesn't she check our work schedule before arranging surgery?".  Everyone I mention this to laughs and says it's a chauvinistic thing to say.  I, on the other hand, find it offensive.  Guess it never occurred to him that I could possibly make more than Kevin or have my own work schedule to clear.  We live in a home where we both contribute proportionately with monetary and workload division.  Needless to say, I'm not looking forward to meeting the guy.  Pretty sure he couldn't handle a gal like me!

So, now that I've completely digressed, we decided that mom and Abbie would accompany me on surgery day while Kevin worked.  Kevin would come immediately after work.  I also got a call from the doctor's office advising me that I would owe coinsurance of $2287 and some change.  They wanted to know what I would be paying at admitting.  My head was spinning with the surgery as it was, let alone the notion of having to pay $2287 some odd at check in (which, by the way, was less than 24 hours away).  No pressure.

So I wrapped up my day at work and then showered up and turned in early for my big day on the 28th.

DISCLAIMER:  I am going to document every nasty detail of my journey, including any "TMI" deets.  I know my blog may bore the shit out of some of you.  By all means, blow past them, block them, whatever ya gotta do.  I am not journaling this for ANY other reason than:  1)  me to look back on and remember how far I've come before I even think about sabotaging myself, 2)  as a very honest and truthful "scoop" on all details of the process should anyone you know want to get a first hand account as they consider the same path and 3)  for the close family and friends who are interested in following along in my life long work in progress endeavors.  Other than that, NO, I don't think I'm so special that you're just dying to hear my story.  It's not about that.

August 28th-SHOWTIME

I woke at 6 am and took my second anti-bacterial shower and got dressed and ready for surgery.  I had packed the day before.....my laptop, my toothbrush and paste, a change of clothes to come home in and a stack of magazines to read.  I was sure this procedure would be no different than that of my lap-banding.

Abbie (my aunt who is a mere 4 yrs older than me) and my mom arrived at our house by 7:15 am; and we promptly set out for Des Peres Hospital.  We made good time and arrived way ahead of schedule.  By the Grace of God, we managed to avoid major rush hour traffic.  Once we got there, we checked in and were taken to admitting immediately.  There I gave all my emergency contact info, handed them copies of my healthcare directives and a check for $2287 (luckily I had the money).

After I wrapped up there, mom and Abbie were asked to sit in the lobby and wait while I was ushered to the pre-op area, which was like no other pre-op I've ever experienced.  They simply showed me a room, had me put on my robe, put socks on me, gave me my Lovenox shot (doctor is using these as a precautionary measure since I had history of a blood clot in 2009, it's a blood thinner) and attempted to stick me for an IV.  I've always been a hard stick; so that was unsuccessful.  Nurses there decided to wait and have the anesthesiologist do it later.  I was not given anything to relax me or start mellowing me out.  Instead, once they did their thing, I sat in my room with my mom and Abbie and killed a lot of time until a man came up with a bed to wheel me down to the OR.

A fun little man whisked me off to the recovery area so I could get my IV then I was going straight into the OR.  I wasn't nervous at all about surgery.  For me, the worst part is ALWAYS getting the IV.  ALWAYS.  So one hour later the IV was FINALLY in, that's 6 men on their knees looking in two arms for any place other than the wrist to stick.  The first four men I met were final year med students doing a 4 week rotation at the hospital in prep for applying to the residency program at Des Peres.  I really enjoyed talking to them.  One was attending school in KC, one at OSU whose med program is in Tulsa and I can't recall the other two.  Then finally I met the two full time anesthesiologists that were at Des Peres and assigned to my OR.  We had fun conversations and talked a lot of NCAA football smack!

As soon as they had the IV in, I was carted off to the OR where I met the team assisting in the OR.  Everyone was nice, in good moods and joking.  I still wasn't nervous.  They put me on the table, starting prepping me, put oxygen over my face and then administered the anesthesia.  Next thing I know, I was OUT.  Medicine is such an amazing science!

I obviously have no recollection of anything that happened after that and until I woke up in recovery.  From what I was told, they had to get my CPAP from mom and Abbie while I was in recovery to help me take deeper breathes before they could release me to a room.  I don't recall much of the recovery room at all; but per mom and Abbie, it was well after 1 pm when I went into the OR.  My surgery took 2 hours total and recovery seemed to take forever as I wasn't taking deep enough breathes until they brought my CPAP in for me.  The doctor did mention to my family that my surgery went VERY well and that he was surprised to see a hiatal hernia when he was in there; so he fixed that.  He suggested that was why I had so many problems with the lap band.  Still not sure if it led to the band problems or the band problems led to it.  But it was a surprise for everyone.  When I woke up in recovery I saw Kevin standing over my bed.  It was a very pleasant surprise.  I remember saying, "Hi Honey" but couldn't really figure out how it had gotten so late that he was there?!  Soon thereafter, the same sweet transporter came to take me to my room.  He was a nice man who had who had been working there for 21 years.  Very upbeat and entertaining, gave us the history of the hospital, etc.  Mom asked his title and he wasn't sure, so I called him the "Director" of Transport.  He laughed while I continued to refer to him as such my entire stay.  Sadly I don't remember his name; but he was a charming man.

I was assigned to room 338.  The third floor nurses at Des Peres were WONDERFUL.  I loved all of them.  My night nurse, Dartina, was extra special.  She took me on my walks and pushed me in a good way.  She was real and I just really enjoyed her personality.  Karyn my day nurse was great, too.  She was a middle aged woman with gorgeous silver hair and perfect make up.  Not southern; but reminded me of a southern auntie.  Great experience overall with that hospital.

The night of my surgery, I felt like I'd been hit by a Mack truck.  It was awful.  My neck and shoulders were screaming in pain, presumably from the gasses they had to inflate my abdominal area with in order to perform the surgery.  The cure for this was to get out of bed and take short walks 3x a day and release as much gas as you can.  All of a sudden, farting was applauded versus embarrassing.  I was at a level of misery to where I didn't care.  Mom, Abbie and Kevin remained with me into the evening until I assured them they needed food and rest, too.  I had pain meds every 4 hours like clockwork, morphine.  But I quickly noticed the morphine was wearing off after 2 hours and I'd have to wait it out in 2 hours of pain before the next dose.

For that time, I was not allowed ANY thing to drink even.  I had those nasty swabs that they'd dip into ice chips for me to suck on.  And let me tell you, I was DYING of thirst.  Hunger did not exist; but severe thirst DID.  I did not sleep at all that night.  I woke in 2 hr intervals.  Had to have been the pain and all the nurse activity.  I did use my CPAP while in the hospital.

At about 10:30 pm that night, my doctor stopped in to tell me my surgery went WELL and that I'm going to lose A LOT of weight.  It was all still too surreal to me.  But I wished him a happy holiday weekend and he advised me that Dr. Minnkin would be his back up.  Bless his heart, Dr. Scott did well over 10 surgeries that day.  It was an even longer day for him than me.  Again, I am amazed by these professionals and the science.  Truly Amazed.

Dartina, the night nurse, took me for my first walk tonight, think it was about 11 pm.  I was lucky to make it 2 doors down to the nurses station.  I felt like walking HELL.  Everything hurt, the neck and shoulders were screaming with pain; and the stomach felt like I was pulling out all the sutures/staples and whatever else they used to glue me back together again.  I took my second walk with Dartina at 2 am.

Friday, August 29th-The Day After

As I mentioned I didn't sleep well; so I was up at 6 am for my Lovenox shot.  So I chose to sit up in the chair in my room for a while.  I sat there majority of the day, actually.  I was still on the swab of water diet, which, along with the IV is the worst part, in my humble opinion.  With the help of meds, I can deal with pain.  I can't handle thirst so well.  I had a catheter in (which was inserted during surgery).  Today I had two tests I had to pass in order to get the catheter removed and to be able to have a drink, the Holy Grail!!!

At 8 am they took me down to Radiology for my "swallow test".  This test I've had before with my lap band.  You drink a shot like of contrast and the radiologist watches it go through your stomach and makes sure everything is flowing properly.  They watch it through a Fluoroscope machine.  I passed that test with flying colors and returned to my room.  Nurse Karyn removed my catheter; and I was finally able to use the restroom on my own!!!  Mom and Dad arrived by 10 am ish for a visit.  They kept me company most of the day.  They brought me a fun St. Louis Blues decoration and a floral arrangement.

  We sat around and talked most of the day, watched some TV and just chilled.  I was so incredibly tired after a night of no sleep that I dozed off and on.  Around 12:30 ish, Karyn came in with my second test, the infamous LEAK test.  This test is done to ensure there are no leaks from the organs they cut and rerouted to your system internally.  I was warned it was an unpleasant dye.  I've always been one to approach things like, "if it's something I've got to do, let's just get it done".  So they pour this bright blue dye over ice cubes and ask me to chew the entire cup of coated ice cubes.  The nurse described it as tasting FOUL.  That was a serious understatement.  I powered through it; and the great news is that there was no BLUE dye showing up in my drain (I forgot to mention I had a drain in me, in addition to the catheter and pain ball).  The catheter was the first to go.  Back to the Leak Test.  So I passed that with flying colors, as well, THANK YOU, JESUS.  However, I became very nauseated post test.  So they had to give me an anti-nausea medication via IV which helped tremendously.  The good news is I was FINALLY allowed to drink and go back on the post-op clear liquid diet.  They immediately brought me lunch of chicken broth, a bomb pop, jello and ice water.  I was never more ready to drink, even if I couldn't gulp!  Still not experiencing any sensation of hunger, I was able to take a few sips of broth, a few bites of Jell-O and a few bites of Popsicle.  I drank my water.  All was right in the world again!

I pretty much had the same menu for the rest of my hospital stay.  It didn't seem to bother me.  It was the least of my cares or worries.

Mom and Dad stuck around until Abbie and Jaimey arrived when Jaimey got off work.  They walked in with a beautiful yellow mum and gift, which I certainly didn't expect after all she'd done to sit with mom for my surgery.  But it was a lovely surprise.  And I will get them displayed in the yard.  I love Autumn and everything about it.  So mums were perfect.  What I also loved about the floral arrangement mom brought in was that the vase was an ice cream cone.....fitting since my mom is known to all her nieces and nephews as the aunt who always brings cone cupcakes.  Very cute.  Gorgeous flowers, too. I don't have a picture but will post one when I can get up and about and take one.

Abbie and Jaimey hung out for a bit, long enough for a good visit and to make sure Kevin got there safely.  Then they headed out around 8 pm ish so they could get some dinner.  Every one's been on wicked crazy schedules.  Kevin arrived after work and a shower and stayed until 9 ish where he had to get food and to bed as he'd been working OT for 2 weeks ever since the day after we got back from vacation.  He was tired, too!

I was so tired on Friday night, that I wasn't worried about company.  I needed to walk and then get to bed.  I still got my regular meds, with the exception of my Hydrochlorthiazide.  I also got pain meds as needed, Lovenox (blood thinner) twice daily and random Pepcid and Maalox.

Friday evening I walked a figure 8 around the 3rd floor.  My night nurse, Dartina was very happy with my progress and commented that I looked much better Friday night than Thursday night.  She said I had NO color in my face Thursday night.  I'm not surprised.  That was my roughest night.  Friday night I was simply tired.

I went to bed at 9 pm and slept through the entire night.

Saturday, August 29th-Operation Go Home

So I slept like a baby all night, to where the nurses were afraid to disturb me.  I didn't have any overnight walks with Dartina, who I understand was waiting for me all night.  Instead I woke by 8 am.  Doctors made rounds and every one of them mentioned that I would be getting released today.  I was ready!  I still had the drain and pain ball (On Q pump for pain) in me; so those and the IV had to be removed, although I was disconnected from the big IV pole and never had to really drag it around with me, thank goodness.  I was told they were shooting for lunch time.  I didn't want to wake Kevin, as he had a long week as well, particularly with constant overtime at work.  But he waltzed in by 10 am and surprised the heck out of me.  I had expected him to phone first, per our conversation the night before.  He sat with me most of the day and also awaiting my release, which did not come until closer to dinner time.  He was tired and I was just nursing the pain from the surgery; so it was a pretty mellow room I had.  I failed to mention, I did have a private room my entire stay.  This was perfect for me.  I liked the quiet and the privacy.

As soon as I was released Kevin got the car and pulled up to the door where I was wheeled by a transporter and off we went.  As the transporter too me down the hall from my room and up to the main floor to the door, all the nurses and staff were saying goodbye and wishing me well.  It was almost as if I'd made a host of new friends.  Never have I felt bad leaving a hospital as I almost did then.  It was really a nice send off.  Wonderful Wonderful Staff at Des Peres Hospital.

We decided to make ONE stop before going home:  Walgreens to drop off my scripts.  I was given Lortab for pain, some anti nauseal meds and Lovenox (the blood thinner) so that I could self inject every 12 hours for 7 days.  This, again, is just a precautionary measure to avoid any blood clots.  I've done it before; so it's no big deal to me.  Of course, when we got to Walgreens the pharmacist advised us the doc only signed one of the three prescriptions.  JOY.  So Kevin had them fill the one that was signed (thankfully that was the Hydrocodone pain med) and we headed home to get me situated.  The pharmacy called the doctor and filled the scripts at another location for Kevin to simply run out and grab a second time (after he'd gotten me home and comfortable).  I had dinner, meds and sat up for a bit then we turned in early.  Kevin was still tired and I was in a little residual pain.

Sunday, August 31-First Day at Home

Today was pretty uneventful.  When I woke up, I tried pulling myself out of the bed.  WRONG MOVE.  It hurt like a son of a bitch...and I won't be doing that again any time soon.  Kevin is sleeping downstairs to allow me room to move in the bed and he's afraid he'll roll over in the night and hit me where my sutures are.  We did everything we could to protect my belly from any cats climbing on top and playing during the night.  If they did, I'd never know.  Once again, I slept like a baby.  Very peacefully.  I took pain meds only as needed, which ended up being 2-3 times today.  One being at bedtime.  And I had no problems with the injections.  The worst thing is not being able to twist my abdominal area; and having to rely on someone else to do basic, very personal things, like wipe me after I use the restroom.  VERY HUMBLING.  Fortunately for me, I married a man who will do anything for me; and he's been as wonderful as he can be.  He's not as nurturing as a female nurse; but he does the best he can with what he's got; and I love him for that.  Time and again, he's proved to me that I've chosen the right man.

Monday, September 1-LABOR DAY

Day two at home was equally boring.  Kevin helped me out of bed which made a world of difference in pain.  Then I worked my way to the living room.  It's a bit painful to raise my core to an upright stance.  I have a ton of staples and sutures inside and out; and it feels like I'm going to pull them when I try to stand upright, when I laugh, cough, sneeze, etc  Not fun.  I am on a clear liquid diet for a week post surgery.  So I had protein shakes, Popsicles and iced tea again, ho-hum.  I'm looking forward to Friday when I see Dr. Scott and hopefully get his blessing to progress to full liquids which at least includes sugar free fudgesicles, cream of wheat and grits.  C'mon Friday!!!

I spent majority of the day reading email and getting caught up on Facebook as well as playing my Vegas Slots game.  I'm desperately trying to accumulate points to redeem toward free nights, meals, shows, etc when we are in Vegas in November.

I also spent a good chunk of time catching up on this blog.  Then we had some dear friends (the Klotzs) come over to see me.  So we asked them to stick around for dinner, too.  Kevin grilled pork steaks and brats while we all visited.  It was very nice and took my mind off all this medical stuff for a few hours.  Lara tried waxing my legs; but was getting more peeling skin than hair.  So she shaved my legs for me.  I cannot bend and reach so well, yet.  They also arrived with a very nice gift of a gorgeous candle holder and candle that looks perfect in my living room.  At dinner time, they all insisted that I sit at the dinner table with them.  I drank my protein shake while they indulged in some very aromatic barbecue.  No worries, they assured me it was "horrible" and that I wasn't "missing anything"  HA HA HA.

After dinner we all sat out on the screened in porch and listened to the rain while visiting until one particularly loud (and apparently CLOSE) thunderclap sent us all running inside.  Time to end the party.  It was 9 pm, the kids had school the next day, parents had work  They left and Kev got me situated with my laptop in bed to complete my blog entry and wind down.  He will be upstairs in about 15 minutes to get me lying flat and situated for bed.  It was a GREAT day and I was glad to be in the company of great friends.  It was THE best medicine.

Tomorrow Kevin returns to work; so my mom will come nurse me.  I feel bad for using and abusing her; but she would have it no other way.  I still need a lot of help yet.  I'm anxiously awaiting for the days that I can get around on my own and not have to rely on others for help.

A very heartfelt thank you to all of those who have prayed for me, reached out to me with an email, a post, a phone call or text before or after my surgery.  I cannot express to you all, how far all of that support goes to encouraging me to become a healthier Lori.  I am really and truly blessed.  I know this.  Thank you.

I did step on the scale today, just for fun and I will tell you that I am only down a few pounds since the day of surgery.....but in no time, it will be falling off, I BELIEVE!!!

And now something I'd never have the balls to do........share my weights.

At my highest weight I was 367 pounds.  Makes me sick considering I promised myself I'd NEVER allow myself to get closer to 300 than 200 once I went over 200.

I was yo-yo ing with weight all while seeing Dr. Scott, between an empty band and going through the process of fills again up to surgery time.  I was losing weight (I believe water weight) shortly before surgery as I'd started a month early by giving up carbonated beverages.  That's when I began dropping from like 358 ish down to 350 and on to 341 on the day of surgery.

Today I weighed 339...but it still went down.  I figure I still have swelling and such from surgery and that once I am more able bodied, the pounds will drop off....so long as I am following the recommended diet and exercise plan.

I hope to share a very good success story with you as I continue along my way.  Thank you, again, to my friends and family for being THE best support group a girl could ever have.  I sincerely love you all.

Update: Pre-Operative Diet Day One

Sunday was my last night of eating solid foods for a while.  When Friday rolled around, I had a hard time choosing where I wanted to go for one of my last meals.  We ended up meeting friends at Chevy's mostly out of convenience.  The meal was good, company was better.  It was so-so, nothing to write home about.  It's very rare for me to actually ENJOY a meal, anyway, since I had the lap-band.  Eating has become more of a necessity than source of enjoyment.

Saturday we had a 40th birthday party to attend at Dave & Buster's.  It's never really been on my short list of places to eat; so I hadn't really considered the meal one of my "last suppers", more about celebrating my cousin's milestone day.  So, I was VERY pleasantly surprised to literally enjoy every second of that meal.  I ordered chicken tortilla soup and a salad they call "The Lawnmower".  It came on a HUGE rectangular plate with lettuce layered on the bottom and vertical layers of colorful goodness on top:  hard boiled eggs, onions, radishes, avocado, tomatoes, peppers (red and green), chicken, bacon bits, blue cheese, etc.  It was YUMMY!!!!  In fact I'd pretty much kill for one now!  Just talking about it has made me hungry!

When Sunday crept up on me, I had to make my least meal a GOOD one.  It just so happened we had to take Fox home to Washington, MO.  So I asked Kevin if we could go to my favorite little mexican joint, Ernesto's.  We kind of quit going there because the man who ran the place (not the owner) was horribly unfriendly.  But we heard that he was gone; so we decided to give it a try again.  First observation, the new guy was uber friendly and pleasant, Carlos.  We ordered our usual guacamole appetizer then for dinner I ordered a shredded chicken flauta and ground beef flauta with all rice.  I swear the heavens opened up and I heard angels sing.  It was DELICIOUS!  Perfect final meal for a while.  All of a sudden I'm typing and this Strawberries & Cream protein shake just isn't cutting it.

Monday I woke up with the "Failure is NOT an option" mentality; so I headed straight to the fridge for my first protein shake.  I should back up.  Last week Kevin and I hit our new Schnucks in search of all things on my "new" diet.  I wanted to stock up before surgery to lessen his stress while I am recovering.  I needed things on the approved items list as well as a good supply of protein shakes.  We managed to find sugar free Jello and puddings, chicken broth cubes and a variety of protein shakes on hand at our store.  No sugar free banana popsicles, however.  I had to settle for Popsicle Sugar Free Tropicals and No Sugar Added Fudgesicles.  The first tropical I tried was Tangerine, didn't care for it.

With regard to the protein shakes, I had to spend some time reading labels.  My guidelines, again, were:

• min. 15-20g of Protein per shake
• <15g of Carbs per serving
• <5g of Fat per serving
• <200 calories per serving
• <3g of Sugar per serving

That really narrows down the list of what you see on the shelves.  I specifically wanted ready made shakes versus the protein.  I've had the mix in the past and really didn't like the taste nor texture.

We ended up finding the EAS AdvantEdge variety in French Vanilla and Chocolate so we got 2-4 pks of each and also decided to try Muscle Milk 100 in vanilla and chocolate, with 1 pack each.  Later in the week, we hit Sam's Club for something else and decided to check out their prices.  It was there that I discovered another brand that met the above criteria, "Premier Protein".  I couldn't help but notice that they were 30g of protein per serving, MUCH more than the other brands.  Remember, I must get a min. of 60g of protein per day now.  Two shakes, voila!!!  Needless to say we grabbed 3 cases, 1 each of Chocolate, Vanilla and Strawberries & Cream.  They ran about $18 and some change each for a case of 12.  The other brands in the 4 pks were a little higher in price, I believe.  I hear they are $4.99 each at Target, regular price.

So when I reached in the fridge yesterday morning, I decided to go big and try the Premier Protein brand first due to the significant amount of protein in them.  For breakfast (a late one near lunch time), I had a chocolate flavor.  I was skeptical; but instantly relieved that it was actually good and therefore tolerable.  I wouldn't have to choke them down.  Ya see, I always try to prepare myself for the worst.  Often, I am pleasantly surprised.  Thank you, God!

By afternoon I was starting to feel some hunger come on.  I wasn't sure if it was just me craving the "chewing" part or what....but I managed to resist the urge for solid food which was all around me....things like $55 worth of Girl Scout cookies I just bought from my niece or some refrigerated Reeces' Peanut Butter Cups, etc  Instead I kept reminding myself, "you've got to do this right, Lori!!!"  So I decided to try one of my Sugar Free Tropical Popsicles....I grabbed the one on top.  It happened to be orange, I suspect Tangerine flavor.  I HATED it.  Too sweet for me.  I was never a kid who enjoyed Kool-Aid or anything of that nature; and that's what it tasted like to me, frozen Kool-Aid.  I choked most of it down then ditched the last 1/4 of it.  Blech!  

For dinner I had a vanilla shake (I am determined to have a different flavor/brand every time until I can determine which ones I enjoy the most...for future reference).  Vanilla, too, was good.  Whew!  2 out of 3 isn't bad odds.......

But by around 8 pm I was getting hungry again.  So I decided to warm up some chicken broth (I can't spell bouillion without spell check).  I also had a before bed snack of a No Sugar Added Fudgesicle.  It was good.  In looking back over my instructions, however, I don't see Fudgesicles on the approved list until week 2 POST surgery.  So I guess I won't be having any more of those!!!

Clearly, the broth will be my "go-to" when I feel HUNGRY.  I am also allowed sugar free Jell-O, which I should make.  Lord knows, we have plenty in the pantry now!

Long and short of it?  I survived day one.

Here I am once again, finishing up my "Breakfast" drink at 12:39 pm at LUNCH time.  So I need to work on my scheduling, for sure.

Another little factoid that fascinated me was that in the 4 weeks I've been off carbonated beverages, my ankles have come back.  I have been able to wear cute and strappy sandals once again.  And that makes me HAPPY.

My goal is to blog daily during the pre op and post op processes and diet plans until I am 2 months out and on regular foods.  Then I'll post periodic updates and pics to track my progress (Failure is NOT an option, keep repeating that Lori!!!).

I will be using the photo below as my "BEFORE" pic to track my progress.  I will reference it with side by side pics over the course of my journey.

THANK YOU to everyone who has sent me good vibes and positive messages, who needs a support group when I have you?

T minus one week till surgery!

Where do I begin?  Time seems to have FLOWN past me since the good news that insurance will cover my procedure.

We are home after a wonderful week in Gulf Shores, Alabama.  So now it's time to focus on pre-operative preparations and the like.  I took a mandatory class that the My New Self Bariatric team hosts prior to patient's going under the knife.  It was very well organized and uber informative.  I was seriously impressed with the way they went over EVERYTHING in detail, including what to expect while you're in the hospital.  I don't recall having that depth of knowledge when I went in for my lap band procedure back in 2006.

I walked away from that education session with a little "goody bag" chock full of things I will find helpful post surgery.  Things like a plate that shows you portions and portion sizes, measuring cup, measuring spoons and a nice water bottle to keep track of your liquid intake.

As part of my own "deal", I decided to take one step prior to surgery in an effort to get in the right mind set.  So at the end of July, I gave up carbonated beverages, particularly diet soda.  I've had no such beverage in three weeks (and counting).  The next thing on the list is to tackle sugars, which is pretty much mandatory post surgery unless I want some rather unpleasant side effects.  Yeah, no thanks.

I surprised myself on vacation in that I didn't feel like I over ate; nor did I give in to the temptation/convenience of ordering soda while eating out.  Instead, I stuck with unsweetened iced tea, for that I am proud.  It's the little things, remember?

My official pre-op diet is a 3 day clear liquid diet.  It's purpose is to help shrink the liver; so the surgeon can get to where he needs to be....my stomach.  Pretty amazing to think they do all this laproscopically?!  I was pleasantly surprised by what was included in the list of acceptable items while on said "clear diet".  I can have sugar free Jell-O (never been big on Jell-O but sure I'll be a Jell-O eatin' FOO by the time my pre and post op diets are complete), Sugar Free Popsicles (still on a mission to find Banana Flavored packs versus assorted flavors), Broths, Bouillons and 3-4 protein drinks per day (meals and snack).

Monday night Kevin and I checked out our new Schnucks grocery store at University Commons.  Sadly, there were no sugar free banana Popsicles.  But they did have some of the "approved" ready made protein shake options.  We bought a decent supply of Muscle Milk and EAS AdvantEdge shake flavors to try.  Rumor has it the EAS aren't bad.  We shall see.  Sadly, the one protein shake I learned to like after lap band surgery (BOOST) is not an approved option.  Nor is, Ensure, Ensure +. Glucerna, K2, Slim Fast Optima, Slim Fast or Slim Fast High Protein.  So begins the quest to find which of the following options I can choke down:  Slim Fast Low Carb Diet, EAS AdvantEdge, Muscle Milk Light, Myoplex Light and Atkins Advantage.  Any input is certainly welcome.  I'd love to hear some reviews or simple thumbs up, thumbs down opinions of them.

Guidelines I was given for the protein shakes are as follows:

15-20g of Protein per serving
<15g of Carbs per serving
<5g of Fat per serving
<200 Calories per serving
<3g of Sugar per serving

My surgery is scheduled for Aug. 28th.  I'm still waiting to hear what time exactly.  I will have the luxury of a private room and can expect to be in the hospital for at least one night, possibly two.

My weeks one and two post surgery diet is similar only some items are added into the mix like decaff tea, cream of wheat, grits, sugar free hot cocoa, sugar free pudding and sugar free fudgesicles.

I hope to blog more about the daily or at least weekly experiences as I go through them and while I am recovering.

The plan for this week is to get all my affairs in order (business, etc) and to create another Advanced Directive (since my KS version is null and void given we moved to MO or so I think?) and then relax and enjoy my cousin's 40th birthday bash on Saturday, rest Sunday and Monday will be GO TIME for the 3 day liquid diet.  Thursday is surgery.

I'm not at all nervous about the procedure itself.  Praying for no complications, of course.  But I'll see to it that Kevin knows where all the important docs are just in case the unexpected would happen on the table.  That's just the Lori in me!!!

Sadly, Kevin's employer will not let him off work to accompany me for surgery.  His bosses comment to him was, ""Doesn't she check our calendar before scheduling?".  Never met the guy; but his arrogance made me laugh.  First off, I'm a busy professional myself.  And last I checked my income covered most of our living expenses.  So, no sir, I check MY work calendar to coordinate.  Not yours.  Sorry!  Needless to say, Kevin won't be there.  But, like  the perfect mom and aunt they are, Mom and Abbie will likely be with me that day until Kevin can make his way to the hospital.  I pity those who do not understand my LIFETIME indebtedness to them.  Notice I'm not talking recent years but a LIFETIME.

I plan on taking my laptop so I can pass the time while laid up.  And I look forward to blogging more LIVE accounts of what comes next in this entire journey.

Stay tuned...............

And the Verdict is...............

(drum roll please).

Insurance APPROVED the surgery.  I will be having Roux-En-Y gastric bypass surgery on August 28th!!!

I'm still processing the news.  I've been speaking with my cousin, who recently had the Gastric Sleeve procedure.  And I've also been talking to my friend and co-worker who had the same procedure as I'm having.

As far as the process goes, I simply need to see the surgeon on Monday August 4th.  After that appointment, I will attend a class with the dietitian to learn more about pre-op diet and procedures.  So far they have me down for a THREE day clear liquid diet.  It beats TWO WEEKS.  So I'm relieved; and pray that doesn't change.  After class, they will send me down to the lab at the hospital for all the necessary pre-op work.  Then they will need nothing from me until the day of surgery.

I should expect two nights in the hospital and 10-14 days off work.  Surgery is laproscopic; and my lap-band will be removed in the process.  This is a HUGE relief for myself and my immediate family, who want it GONE.

The best news is I'm still able to have it before my high school reunion....although my friends won't see a drastic change in me until perhaps the next one.  And it won't impact our upcoming vacation or my cousin's 40th birthday celebration.

More deets to follow as they unfold.  I expect that I will continue to blog throughout the journey.

Thank you for your continued support, love and encouragement.

Lori

http://www.webmd.com/diet/weight-loss-surgery/gastric-bypass

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gastric_bypass_surgery

Hurry Up and Wait!

For those of you following along on my never ending journey to gastric bypass surgery, here are the latest "rocks" I've been moving..............

On June 24th I had my follow up with the bariatric surgeon, Dr. Scott.  I had been diligent about logging my food intake and physical activity in a journal, of sorts.  So I had that on hand.  When I met with the doctor I was down a total of 12 pounds from the date I began seeing him, one year prior.  So I did lose some weight; but nothing significant.  And given the band, I should have lost more.  But we all know the lap-band doesn't work for everyone; and it's clearly not working for me.  Soooo, I did not get a band adjustment.  Rather, the doctor reviewed the documentation we had and felt confident that we had more than enough to resubmit to CIGNA for insurance approval to have the surgery.

There were only two things missing (information wise) that insurance required.  A surgical clearance from my internist and a psychological evaluation.  Both had been completed; but since it's been right at a year, I needed to refresh them.

The doctor explained that he was confident we could get approval and offered to do what they call a "peer to peer" conference with the Medical Director at CIGNA, if necessary.  Always one to prepare myself for the worst case scenario, I asked him "WHAT IF" they deny me again???  He went on to explain that it wouldn't be the end of the road that we could take legal action.  And he has referrals for me, if it comes to that.  Whew!  So I will try to remain optimistic.  I liken the process to that which some of my peers have endured in qualifying for disability!!!

Because I wanted to "get the show on the road", I made an appointment for the psych eval for the following week (July 2nd) and immediately contacted my internist for a surgical clearance.  Fortunately, I have a wonderful doctor who typed it up immediately and had it ready for me to pick up on my way to the psych eval.

At the psych eval, Dr. French just went over the information from last time and updated accordingly.  He was also very careful to document any and all comorbidities (other illness or symptoms as a result of my obesity).

I submitted my clearance while I was there.  So now they have everything they need to submit to CIGNA again.  And we wait...............

Once the paperwork is submitted to CIGNA, they have 30 days (legally) to approve or disapprove.  Typically, the doctor has a response back within 2 weeks.  Until then, I'll be on the edge of my seat with anticipation.

The surgery itself can be done laproscopically.  Typical hospital stay is 2 nights.  And average time off work is 2 weeks.

I've done some research on my benefits at work.  I have 2 weeks of sick time that must be used first, then Short Term Disability would kick in.  What I need to be sure is that my vacation time will remain untouched.

My goal would be to try to get it in as soon as possible so I can start losing prior to the high school reunion that I'm planning.

Again, thank you for the continued encouragement; and I'll keep you posted!!!

Moving Rocks

I've come to learn (over time, experience and my work life) that it's VERY overwhelming to me to focus on the BIG PICTURE when I have a major task in front of me.  I can't recall which one; but one of my former bosses persuaded me to tackle one small portion at a time and chip away at the Big Picture.

The need to lose well over 150 pounds is no small task.  In fact, it's daunting.  How did I let myself get to this weight?  Did I not feel myself slowing down until now?  WHY didn't my lap band surgery work for me?  So many questions about the elephant in the room....which I'll hereby refer to as my MOUNTAIN.

I've faced this dilemma for years.  Never has it impacted me so deeply as it does now.  The truth is that it scares me when I can't do things that are part of our everyday lifestyle.  The reality is I have a husband now, that I want to grow old with, a step-son I want to do fun and active things with.  "Ain't Nobody Got Time" for slowin' down.

The results from my complete blood work up arrived. And the verdict was.........drum roll please....

My cholesterol was high (not surprising Cigna hadn't refilled my script and I was without for some time.  They did, however, ship some to me today.  And I got a supply locally while I've been waiting).

My TSH or Thyroid Stimulating Hormone was VERY high.  The doctor has since increased the dosage of my medication for the time being.  I will go back for another test in 6-8 weeks to monitor it.

Interestingly enough, my sugar level was fine (no signs of Diabetes).  I'm desperately trying to avoid that diagnosis.

Fascinating (to me at least) that my B12 and my Vitamin D were both very low.  Two things I hadn't paid much attention to in the past nor have my primary docs ever chosen to monitor it.  As a result, I now have the joy of taking prescription Vitamin D.  There really is such a thing.  I have to take it every week for the next 4 weeks to amp up on it then I guess take a smaller dose daily thereafter.

BUT WAIT, there's MORE (imagine my best infomercial voice).....I also get to go back to the life of self injections (I though I'd given this up in 2010 when I hopped off the Lovenox train).  No blood thinners this time....instead 1 ml of B12 every week for 3 weeks then I guess regular tabs daily (not sure yet).  I managed to handle injecting myself with the Lovenox pretty well, other than the shit stung when entering.  But this B12 is a ML which looks like a lot more than any amount of Lovenox I ever had.  Worse, they didn't fill the script with syringes.  So when Kevin came home with it, I was like "WTF am I supposed to inject myself with?"  So I called Walgreens, they tell us we needed to buy those separately.  Ok fine, the next day Kev stops on his way home from work and tries to buy some.  He's told by a different Walgreens that they are prescription and they will need to call the doctor for a script.  Oooookaaaayyyy.  Alas, third try was a charm and Kevin arrived home from work this evening with three lovely syringes for me.  These are not your average Lovenox syringes, these babies are more along the lines of LONG, THICK needles similar to those I had when I was given a lap band fill only not as lengthy....oh yea, and I didn't have to administer those myself!!!!

Oh yea, and those were injected by simply pinching an inch in the belly (no problem at all) and firing away.  This whole B12 thing.......it's muscular.  So I have to shoot into the muscle.  It's sounding a lot less FUN all of a sudden.  I'm choosing to do mine on Mondays as I feel that's when I need the most energy.....getting my work week off the ground.  So stay tuned, I'll let you know how I do.

Meanwhile my nurse friends and Mother-in-law probably all think I'm the biggest wuss who walked the planet!!!

So since my last appointment here's what I've done:

I've made good on my promise (to myself) to get back in my Plexus routine.  I've been taking my Pink Drink with 2 Accelerator tablets every morning and 2 ProBio5 tabs every night at bedtime.  I've dropped weight, my scale says 13 lbs but I'm not sure if it's calibrated the same as the docs.  So I prefer to go by what the doc's scales says each month.  My next appointment is June 25th.

I've started Aqua Zumba classes two nights a week.  I go on Mondays and Wednesdays for an hour each night.  I think I just like being in the water; because I really enjoyed it and felt good.  The only complaint I have about it is the damned bugs were dive bombing my head while I was exercising.  I will need to avoid shampooing right before class and probably even douse myself in bug spray.  My classes are for 9 weeks and take me through July.  I missed Monday.  On Wednesday there were only 3 of us, myself and a couple in their mid to late 50s.  Nice people.  The pool was closed to the public and very private.  I was completely comfortable....which is HUGE as it relates to my future attendance and ultimate success.

I've also been logging my meals/food intake as well as exercise.  This will be the documentation that is submitted (after my next appointment) to Cigna to prove the lap band isn't working for me and hopefully get their approval for Roux-en-Y Gastric Bypass surgery.

So for now, I'm focusing on some sage advice from an old boss.  I'm staring at the mountain; but I'm determined to tackle one little rock at a time.  Perhaps in your mind they are more like pebbles; but to me they seem like boulders.  So if you wonder what I'm up to, I'm just moving rocks....one at a time and not stopping until I find my PEAK (or summit)!!!

Old habits are hard to break.  But as I mentioned, I'm desperate.  I have a husband and son to live for and a lot of things I still desire to do, minus any handicaps.  Maybe in the future I'll blog my weight loss bucket list.  Things I want to do when my weight will allow me to do them........Thanks to ALL of my friends and family for their sweet and heartfelt words of encouragement and motivation.  I rely on it more than you realize.

I am blessed!