3 mos. down and LOTS of lessons learned

Yesterday I had my 3 month post-surgery follow up with my surgeon's Nurse Practitioner.  In their office I weighed in at 304.  I was bundled up in a sweatshirt and kept my shoes on.  At home I weigh in at 302.  Nurse said that sounds about right.  That said, I came in at 16 pounds dropped since my last office visit (9-29-14...just shy of 2 mos); and 54 pounds down over all (going by the 302).  As pathetic as it sounds, I will be soooo thrilled when I can celebrate being back in the 200s....and I live for the day I can celebrate being back in the 100s.

During my appointment they drew blood to check my B12 and Vitamin D levels.  Both were way low prior to surgery.  I now take B12 once a week via a nasal spray; but haven't taken any Vitamin D since prior to surgery.  My B12 level came back right in the middle of the acceptable range.  I'm still waiting for the Vitamin D results.

I told the NP how there are days when I have NO appetite whatsoever.  I found this to be true in Vegas.  Nothing tasted good to me.  I was tired of eating out, etc.  Eating is not something to be enjoyed now.  It's nothing more than a necessary task in my day.  I haven't really "enjoyed" a meal in a while.  Since we've returned from Vegas I'm slowly picking up my appetite; and I definitely prefer home cooking versus going out.  It's just a pain.  If I can only eat 4-8 oz.  I want to enjoy them.  The Dietitian said that there is a "honeymoon phase" for about 6 months where that can be true; and that it usually comes back.  That's a relief?!

I was a bad girl and did not track my protein; so she asked me to try logging it for a couple days a week.  I'll do that, although I haven't yet!

And while I did walk a LOT during our trip to Vegas, the goal for me would be to establish a more ritualistic exercise regime.  It's kind of hard for me to get excited about this.  It's all I can do to make it through the average work day with my Fibromyalgia (which presents itself more like Chronic Fatigue).  We are running non stop on weekends.  But during the week, I sit at a desk and by 6 or 7, I'm toast!  This will most definitely be a work in progress.  At least I noticed that I am definitely NOT getting winded as easily as I used to.  This is a plus.

The NP was very happy with my results, saying I was doing "excellent".  Beautiful, just what I want to hear.

They have a new app called My New Self, available on MAC and Android systems.  So while I waited o see the NP, I downloaded it.  One of the first things it asked me was my target weight.  This is not something that had been discussed before.  So I mentioned it to Lily (the NP).  In the interim I put 175 in the tool.  She talked me through her guesstimate and made it very clear that it's too early to know and that they look at your collar bone, body structure, how the weight loss looks on you, etc before making such a determination.  BUT, for now, she said conservatively I could shoot for 180.  It still seems VERY out of reach for me at this point.  But I was VERY encouraged to hear that it's NOT out of the realm of possibilities for me to get down into the 100's, even if it's the high end.  Who knows how many years it will take at this pace; but I've got nuttin' but time!!!!

Some of the lessons I learned over the past month are:

1)  Don't be fooled when you have a free drink ticket on Southwest and think Bailey's on ice sounds delicious.  Literally two sips in, I turned green in the gills and had to resort to this handy little thing!  Yes, folks, I was THE one who got sick from alcohol before we even made it to Vegas!!!  How sad is that?!  I'm thinking this may help me stave off any Bailey's cravings in the future!!!  Clearly it is too sweet for me to play with any more.

2)  Even though I don't get winded as easily as I did pre-surgery, I still have to take breaks from walking due to my back injury (broken back 1985).  I just can't be on my feet long at all.

3)  It helps if you carry the anti nauseal meds with you at all times.  Just.In.Case!

4)  Big Fancy $33 per person Vegas buffets are a complete and utter waste of money for me.

5)  It's amazing the things you can find these days that are sugar free or no sugar added.  I was able to enjoy Gelato with my friends while in Vegas.  I was able to order birthday cakes for my mom and dad from a nearby cake decorator....both in sugar free cake mix and frosting.  At our Schnucks we discovered that Pillsbury makes sugar free cake mixes and sugar free frosting (although our store didn't have the frosting).  I'm feeling hopeful that I can make something I can enjoy for Fox's birthday, too.  The lady I ordered his cake from said she cannot do sugar free.  I think I'll make some sugar free cupcakes for those of us who have sworn off sugar.  Also while in Vegas, we went in a candy store called LICK.  I was able to get some packaged sugar free candies.  Of all the sugar free candy I've tasted, the only one I REALLY like are sugar free Jelly Belly's.  Believe it or not, they are really good.  Can't even tell they are sugar free.  Have to be careful, though, 'cos the sugar alcohol in them has a laxative effect.  So you probably don't want to down the entire bag?!

6)  I was able to sit in a regular seat at the Hard Rock Hotel's venue called The Joint where we saw Kiss Rocks Las Vegas.  It was still cozy sitting next to Kevin; but it wasn't uncomfortable to where I felt like a pretzel when we left.  This is a new and liberating feeling.

7)  The days where I can take advantage of Southwests "Persons of Size" policy are numbered; but for the Vegas trip Kevin and I were able to preboard and there was a seat between us.  This was nice.  I will miss that.....FOR SURE.

8)  If you're going to try raw carrots, CHEW them to death.  I made the mistake of not chewing well enough this week and all of a sudden that old lap band, got something stuck feeling reared it's ugly head.  I was MISERABLE up until I puked violently and about 10 minutes later I was calmed down and ok.  Haven't touched a raw carrot since.

9)  The ONLY craving I still have is actually DIET SODA.  I still struggle and want to have "just one" from time to time; but I am too scared of sabotaging myself.  Several times during our vacation and even this week back at home, I've wished I could have "just one".  But I know myself too well.  If I have one, it will never end at "just one".  So I've yet to have any type of carbonated beverage.  I did fall prey to one craving and tried to substitute with a Icee....Coca Cola Icee........couple sips and it was disgustingly sweet to me so I abandoned it.  That seems to be how a lot of my cravings end up.  Disappointing.

10)  This is sooo not weight loss related but I have to throw it in here 'cos I'm still laughing about it.  I learned that Paul Stanley of KISS is from NY or NJ or somewhere up East.  His accent and voice are SOOOO not what you'd expect from a tall LEGEND of Rock n Roll.  "Helloooooooo  KISS, Aw-mee".

11)  I get bored of drinking just water.  I have to get tea sometimes just to have SOME variety.  I can see me drinking more wine than before since all my other alcoholic options are bad.  Hoping to enjoy some over the holidays.

12)  I was able to walk from the stretch hummer we rented which was parked outside the stadium parking lot to the UNLV football stadium and up some stairs without any trouble.  Easy Peasy for most; but monumental for me.  2 months ago that never would have happened.

13)  My clothes are definitely fitting me differently.  So in the past few weeks, I thought I'd get my act together and order jeans in a size 30, 2 sizes down from my starting size.  SURPRISE.  I wore them like a WEEK.  Fortunately, I ordered a couple of that size and the size below it (28).  Almost immediately, I was in the 28s.  Not sure how long it will take me to get in 26s.  I have none on hand.  Since I work from home, I mostly wear sweats and yoga pants.  Even my old sweats are starting to hang on me or fall off if not tied.  I have to go to San Antonio in December and January.  No idea what I'll wear.  I have a couple old skirts I can get by wearing with boots.  But don't think I have any slacks that fit.  Maybe I should put that on my Christmas list?!  Shirts I wear till they look sloppy big hanging on me.  I'm starting to buy some 3Xs and 22/24s.  I am in a 26 comfortably now.

14)  I fit into my sequined dress from my rehearsal dinner 4 years ago!!!  I can also fit into sandals I once thought I needed to sell due to my swelling!!!  That's me on the far left in the photo below:

15)  The more weight I lose, the more confident I am that I'll be keeping my hair short.  I love it short, so easy and fast!

16)  Even at 54 lbs. down, my legs and feet still swell when I am walking or on them all day.  Guess there is no avoiding it?!  However, they do not swell to the same degree that they once did, prior to my surgery.  It helps if I wear tennis shoes.

17)  I still needed a seat belt extender on the flight to Vegas but not by much.  Won't be long till I can relieve myself of the added carry on item!!!

I've heard my shoe size will go down, as well.  So far I haven't noticed too much.  Hoping it won't change by a lot.  I kinda like the collection I have going now.

Other than that I'm just trying to get through the holidays and continue learning how to live a new lifestyle, free of sugar and with some added physical activity.  I know what I have in mind.........not sure Kev's on board, tho.  ;-)

Below is a pic taken last Saturday (close enough to Tues).  It was taken at the SHAVE party we held in honor of my aunt who is battling Ovarian Cancer and undergoing chemo now.  I kinda dig the shaved head, to be honest.  So simple and easy and carefree.

And again my BEFORE Surgery pic:

Until next month.........Happy Thanksgiving to all and to all a good night!!!

xoxo
Lori

Two Month Post Op Update

My gastric bypass surgery seems like the distant past.  Hard to believe it's only been two months....and what a couple of months it's been?!

I've dropped another 2 lbs. since my 10-16 update for a total of 10 lbs down since my one month post op and an overall weight loss of 46 pounds.

I'm down a total of three pants sizes and down one (almost two) shirt sizes.  Bras are a funny subject.  My boobs are definitely shrinking.  But my band size is shrinking faster than my cup size.  I no longer fill my old DD cups.  Instead, I look like a pre-teen who has been "stuffing" for years!!!  Yet I seem to spill out of my D's.  Either way, I look like a misfit who doesn't know how to buy a good bra!!!  I can't wait till the day I can go get fitted and have good bras that hold my boobs up where they should be.  For now, I'm getting $16 cheapies to carry me through the transition periods.

And, all of a sudden I'm buying "petite" length jeans.  Either I'm shrinking or they are changing the inseams in the industry.

I have been buying some new clothes to carry me through the seasons and body changes.  I'm trying not to stock up too much.  Yet I'm also trying to be sure I have enough to get me through trips, going out, etc.  It's a fine line.  Yesterday I hit TJ Maxx and hit the motherlode on discount Michael Kors sweaters and cardigans for the fall/winter.  Bargain shopping is a necessity.

Once upon a time, when I hit 40 and was still single, I bought myself a gorgeous diamond ring and setting.  I now wear it on my right hand.  It has a lot of sentimental value to me and symbolizes my independence and proof that I can survive on my own (if I had to).  That ring now rotates in circles around my finger....too big.  Maybe someday I'll get it re sized.  I'll continue wearing it until it literally falls off.  Then it will be stored for resizing once my weight loss has stabilized.  The ring on my left hand is similar, only less loose at this time, thank goodness.

Above Pic:  Before Surgery (left) and 2 mo post op pic (right)

Above Pic:  One mo. post op (left), 2 mo post op (right)

Because this "journey" is much more than physical, I try to share some of the mental challenges, as well.

I'm STILL trying to wrap my head around the mind vs. stomach battle.  My MIND wants to fill my plate or order generous portions when out.  My stomach is clearly not having that.  I ALWAYS have leftovers to take home or to package up at home.  ALWAYS!  I don't like to eat just ONE thing at a meal.  Sampler platters at restaurants are ideal for me.  Then I can have a taste of multiple things, at least.  Often times my leftovers end up going to waste.  I eat on them twice but never seem to want it four meals in a row!!!

Some days I have no appetite, whatsoever!  On the days I do feel "hungry", I eat; but find myself FULL very quickly.  Enjoying a meal is a rare treat!  My go to breakfast (and sometimes lunch) is peanut butter on a toasted English muffin, or a toasted thin bagel or just plain toast!  I usually have half a slice and I'm good!

Let's talk cravings.  So far I've been doing well with water and iced tea....no carbonated beverages.  On rare occasions, I crave a soda.  Last night, I turned to my husband and asked him if he thought it would be the kiss of death if I had one.  He promptly blurted, "YES!".  So I went back to water.  It's good for me to have someone to keep me honest with myself.  Accountability is important.  Every once in a while I still crave a soda.  But the reality is, I'm still MORE afraid to ruin my overall plan or goal.  So it takes over any craving I have.  I hope that will continue to be the case.

Speaking of cravings, I STILL have all the crazy sugar free snacks and treats that I was SURE I'd be craving all the time.  But the interesting thing is, even though I THINK I want them, I take a bite and either feel full or unsatisfied; so I end up abandoning the snack altogether.  My mind is still blown away by this; and I wish it wouldn't even trick me into thinking these things sound good at those times.  Because it ends up being a huge waste of time and money.  Not to mention, it often leaves my stomach feeling blah!

Instead, I've found myself enjoying hard candy for the first time in my life.  My go to treat is now a sugar-free caramel coffee Werther's.  Whodathunkit?!

Remember how I was curious to know what would happen if I had alcohol in small quantities?  Well last weekend on our annual anniversary trip to Grafton, IL, I had some wine for the first time since surgery.  We went over to Aerie's Winery.  Kevin bought a bottle of "Sandy's Candy" sweet red wine.  Mmmmm.  I followed the doctor's advice and started with a very small amount in my glass and sipped.  So far, so good.  I had a second "glass",....if I had to guess I'd say each was between 1/4 and 1/2 cup.  I would have had more except the bottle was gone, LOL.  I didn't feel tipsy at all.  No sugar reactions, nothing........just a thirst for more.  Mmmmm.  WHY didn't we buy a bottle to take home?!

And while we're on the subject of alcohol.  Kevin and I went out to Red Lobster Monday night for dinner.  I decided to "celebrate" by ordering my favorite frozen drink, a Mudslide.  I have mixed feelings about whether that was a good idea or not.  It was literally a taste of heaven.  Kevin watched my reaction as I drank it and laughed at me.  You'd think I was having an orgasm?!  I had MAYBE 1/4 of it and then got miserably FULL.  The rest went to waste.  I hated to waste such an expensive drink.  So now I'm left wondering if the cost was worth the heaven I tasted in that little quantity?!  Not sure.  Again, no tipsy feeling or anything like that.  Just a stomach that was like, "What they hell were you thinking?!"  I was thinking of immediate gratification, that's what!!!

I stand by a comment in one of my previous comments in this blog, that my weight loss has had a direct impact on my happiness.  I always thought I was a pretty happy person, in general.  But I've noticed I am happier and enjoy being "me" more now.  I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I have lost a little weight to where I can live with myself now versus that feeling of being defeated (by the excess weight) before.  Again, not sure.  I'm still processing a lot of this.

I can tell you that nothing feels greater than having your friends hug you and tell you how proud or happy they are for you.  Or a compliment like, "You look great".  It's AMAZING what it does for the soul.  Just knowing you are doing something to save yourself is empowering over that former defeatist mentality.

One of the biggest perks of the weight loss I've had so far is that I find I'm not getting winded or out of breath near as easily as I used to.  I can walk farther now.  Parking at a hockey game and walking to the stadium is not out of the realm of possibilities now.  Just a very liberating feeling.  Like I'm getting my life back, one pound at a time.

And lastly, for the first time in like 3 years, I set up an appointment to have our family portraits taken.  I've avoided it like the plague because I hated how I looked.  Now I can live with who I am on the outside 'cos I know it's a work in progress and WILL get better.

Thank you, again, for all the words of encouragement.  For the compliments on my blog and for your friendship.  Words cannot express how far that goes in motivating me to continue on said journey.

God Bless.

Lori

Just a quick post with some side by side comparison pics for you.

The first is my before on the right (Aug 2014) and my present on the left (Oct 18-2014).  I chose a very bad before pic as it's skewed from the cropping I've done to it.

Following is a comparison from last month (Sept) on the right to this month 10-18-14 on the left.

Seems like there's not much to report when I am not going to the doctor weekly or even monthly any longer.  However, I know there are many of you who are anxious to know how my "journey" is going.

My last update was Sept. 29th.  Today is October 16th, so it's really only been 2.5 weeks.

So, without further adieu, I will share the GREAT news:  As of this morning I am down a total of 44 pounds since my starting weight.  This means an 8 lb loss since my last update or in 2.5 wks.  I am a mere 12 lbs from breaking into the 200s.  I know that's astonishing to many.  But it's a landmark for me; and I will be celebrating it, regardless of the shame of how I ever got that bad off.

I've made some interesting observations over the past month that I'd like to share, as well.  Pardon the TMI....but it's important to get this out there for those reading who may choose to follow in my footsteps.

• I've been off carbonated beverages since early August, so a little over 2 months.  I really don't crave soda at this point.  Only when I am really thirsty and that seems to be the ONLY option....but I go out of my way to find water in those cases.  I tell myself that soda is the KISS OF DEATH, that I'll stretch my stomach thus sabotaging my surgery and goals.  To date, I've been able to avoid any temptation.  Water and Tea it is.
• Same with sugar.  Something I thought would NEVER happen; but I don't really crave chocolate and sweets near as much as I used to.  Once in a while my mind thinks I want a "treat"; but when I grab a sugar free snack (such as a SF Hershey mini bite), I eat one and then I have no desire for more.  Doesn't even appeal to me any longer.  This is HUGE and I would have NEVER believed it.  Regardless, my mind still seems to think I want it; and I find myself buying and stocking such snacks.  But when I take a bite, my stomach reminds me, "No thank you".  It did not, however, stop me from staring at Abbie's "Missylicious" cupcake from Jilly's when she was hospitalized!!! My mind was envious, stomach not so much.
• Speaking of the mind vs. stomach thing.  It's really messing with me.  My mind still wants to be in control; but it's clearly my stomach that calls the shots.  So it's been an interesting transition and work in progress to stop listening to the mind and start putting my trust in my stomach.  I'm not there yet.  I still want to put large portions on my plate.  Yet I never finish them.  Even though I am eating significantly less than I did prior to surgery, I still tend to put more on my plate than I can handle with my new "pouch" or stomach.
• On that same order, I wish I had an internal alarm warning me to stop taking bites and walk away BEFORE I take that last one that later gives me nausea.  This is a BIG one.  Seems I take one extra bite than I should have more often than not then I feel ill and have to lie down or take an anti nausea pill.  It would be great if my stomach just set off an alarm that told me, "Lori, I feel full, STEP AWAY from the FOOD".  But no....there is no warning system, it's all trial and error.  As an example, the other night we had Hawaiian Ham Sammies for dinner.  They are the size of a King's Hawaiian dinner roll.  Kevin brought me two of them, no sides, just two sandwiches.  I ate one and a half.  TOO MUCH.  If I had stopped at ONE....I could have avoided nausea.  Again, my mind is at war with my stomach now.  Mind says, "Damn this is good, GET IT, Gurl".....and the stomach says, "I dare ya".
• OK, and not to be GROTESQUE, but another observation I've made is that no matter what I eat, I have HELLA gas.  This is not an understatement folks.  I'm talking, wake me up from a deep sleep and sometimes wake my husband up, gas.  It's a miserable feeling that leaves you longing for relief.  This morning, my husband came into the room to kiss me goodbye before he left for work.  His first greeting to me as I was waking was, "This is a good place for a stick up!".  LOL.  I am going to look into taking Maalox twice a day or a ProBiotic (which I have on hand).  It's embarrassing.
• At only 6.5 weeks out from surgery, I am able to eat most anything at this point and long gave up on the 2 month diet progression pamphlet the doctor's office gave me as a guideline.
• I can find something on most any restaurant menu to order, although I always have leftovers.  This makes dining out and socializing easier.
• While I do have Fibromyalgia and with the exception of the events that have taken place with my Aunt Abbie over the past couple weeks, my energy level has increased in general.  This makes me happy; and I look forward to further improvement!
• To date, this entire Gastric Bypass journey seems tremendously more easy that the LAP BAND, based on my experiences.  I am not having near the complications or struggles that I had with my band.  No throwing up (my greatest fear), no foaming of the mouth, no social anxiety in public eateries, etc.  I don't want to jinx myself; but it seems like the bypass is a walk in the park comparatively speaking.  WHY didn't I just go this route back in 2006?!
• I am definitely happier and no longer hiding at home or refraining from social events....probably because I know I'm taking steps in the right direction.  I'm still in awe of the rapid recovery I've had.
• My husband looks at me with more of a sense of pride now.  He'll occasionally comment that he can see it in my face or in my clothes, etc.  Words can't describe what a beautiful feeling this gives me.
• 44 lbs. has not meant a lot to me (personally) in the way of clothing sizes.  I've pulled out some older clothes that were slightly tight before.  I can fit in them comfortably now.  But I haven't been able to go down more than 1 size, to date.  I also feel like my shirt size has only gone down by one, as well.  I would have liked it to mean more; but I'll get there eventually.  It's been fun pulling out old dresses, pants, blouses and be able to re-introduce them to my current wardrobe.  So far I've not had to purchase a lot of new clothing.  I'm not dropping so fast that I'm buying new clothes weekly or anything crazy like that.  Since I work from home, I tend to wear sweats and yoga pants which buys time.  What I'm not sure of, is how I'll stay in jeans that look nice as my body changes.  I haven't really tried them on much.  We have family portraits to be taken this weekend.  I'm praying I will have something to put on my butt that won't look too goofy.  Stay tuned for the outcome of that, LOL.
• I've discovered a new appreciation for hard candy.  I've never been much on it, personally.  But lately, I keep a personal stock of Werther's Sugar Free Caramel Coffee candies.  I'm more likely to "snack" on those than cupcakes, cookies, chocolate bars, etc.  I've been VERY good about avoiding sugar and plan to keep it that way.
• I have not had many issues with swelling of my legs and feet since my surgery.  I've even been able to wear some shoes that I once tried to sell because of that edema.  This is a wonderful thing.  Less discomfort and more fashionable!  WIN-WIN

I'm constantly making observations as I make my way down this new path in life. I will wait until the 28th to take a monthly photo to share.

I cannot thank you all enough for the words of encouragement and support.

Life is GOOD!

Lori

One Month Down.......

Hard to believe it's been a month already!  Time flies, for sure.  That or I'm getting older?!

Well I had my one month post surgical follow up appointment with the doctor yesterday.  Actually, with Lily, his Nurse Practitioner.  She was VERY pleased with my progress and assured me that I'm right on point with the plan.

I weighed in at a total of 36 lbs. down since August and 13 lbs lost since my last visit (3 weeks ago).  She took a look at my incisions and still says they look beautiful.  Not how I'd describe them; but whatever.  They looked healthy, normal and are healing.  Lily says the redness of the scars will fade in time; and most scabs are gone.

Just this week the one incision that was still tender and a little uncomfortable began healing.  I no longer have that discomfort.  I can bend and twist and life is good.

I had two main questions I wanted to ask the dietitian and the nurse.

1)  I wanted them to know I had advanced my diet progression faster than their brochure recommended; and wanted to confirm that I was to go by what my stomach would tolerate.  I also wanted to confirm that in doing so, I wasn't sabotaging my "plan".

and

2)  Was it normal for the weight loss to slow down once the food progression began?  And what type of weigh loss should I expect before the next visit (Nov. 20)?

Regarding the second question, as you can imagine, it's very normal for the weigh loss to taper down once you begin eating more and more solid foods.  Therefore, my personal results were well within reason.  (I had been growing concerned that I was no longer dropping that 1-2 lbs overnight.  The scale seemed to stall at 320).  What a HUGE relief!!!

In the back of my head, the fear of failure still shows it's ugly head and often.  I felt like I failed with the lap-band, even if the professionals swear it failed me.  I do not want failure to be an option now, after all I've gone through.

Lily said I should expect to lose in the neighborhood of another 15 lbs. by my pre-Thanksgiving follow up on Nov. 20th.  That would take me to a total of 50 lbs down.  I could handle that?!

As far as the diet progression and my acceleration endeavor, no problem so long as my tummy can handle it, the dietitian said.

I've been VERY lucky in that my stomach has healed very nicely and seems to be tolerating foods nicely.  I think I have an advantage in that I had lots of practice in chewing foods properly with my lap-band.  So that's not been an issue.  I have a food scale; and when eating at home I measure everything.  This keeps me from overeating and risking that full nauseated feeling that is pretty unpleasant.  I've only experienced it twice in the month since surgery.  Once when eating my Tilapia dinner.  I never did finish those left overs 'cos I though maybe the Tilapia didn't agree with me.  In retrospect, I think it was just a case of slightly overeating.

The second time was when Kevin and I went out to Culpepper's for dinner.  I was enjoying a Cobb Salad like I hadn't had one in years; and BAM!  I got nauseated for obviously going over my 4 oz. limit.  It was sooooo good!

Fortunately, the hospital prescribed me some anti-nausea meds when I was released.  So I was able to take one in each of the above cases, lie down, go to sleep and it all passed.

I haven't had any sugar or carbonation cravings.  I'm not even drinking as much iced tea.  I've transitioned to water, which seems to quench my thirst (and not stain my teeth).  I did make sure that we stocked up on all things I thought I'd possibly crave (only healthier versions).  So we have a nice stash of those alternatives should a craving strike.  I should say that I am deathly afraid to "learn" what would happen if I did try to eat things high in sugar.  So, so far, I haven't felt the urge to stray from sugar-free options.  Here's what my current supply looks like.  Sadly, I feel (in my head) I must have the options handy.  But I notice I don't really eat them on the daily.  Something comforting just knowing they are there, though!

 The dietitian was surprised that I had already weaned myself off the protein shakes.  Overall they want patients to do that.  However, unless I can be SURE I'm getting 60g of protein in a day, they want me to take at least one a day still.  I agreed to drink one for breakfast daily.  They did ask me to log my protein each day.  ARGH, I am the worst record keeper.

Here are some "BEFORE" surgery pics of me.

And here is one my husband took for me yesterday (I'm not big on the whole "selfie" movement.  And I am not photogenic.  So forgive the dorky look....keep in mind this is me posing for a pic my husband is taking.  And he's not one to wait until I'm posed or my hair is just right, he just snaps away and captures all my geekness.  God love him!

Sadly, on a person my size, you really can't see a 36 lb. weight loss.  However, I have had many friends tell me they can see it in my face.  I can see it in my face and legs.  Last week we went somewhere and Kevin said to me, "I can really see it in your clothes.  You aren't filling that shirt out any more".  Then he proceeded to kiss me and say, "I'm proud of you".   What sweet music for my soul to hear!!!  In the above picture I am wearing a polo I had in a tote downstairs because it was too small.  I was able to salvage it!  What a FUN feeling to rediscover old clothes and turn them into new ones again!  Yay!  I have lots of clothes I am hoping to make use of this fall/winter.  It beats having to buy new ones.  Plus, I don't want to buy clothes until I get to a size I plan on remaining in for a while.  I went through 3 huge totes of old clothes and some old shoes.  The things I cannot use I'll be donating to Women of Another Chance.  It feels good to be able to fit in some older items that I was sad to out grow.  While it seems 36 lbs is a lot of weight, the reality is it is only ONE size in my clothing.  Regardless, it's nice to donate the old stuff as I don't plan on going back to that size.

Mentally speaking, I still have trouble imagining me being any other size than this.  I can't imagine a thinner version of myself.  I guess I'll meet her when y'all do.

Things I've experienced, learned, discovered, etc. in the past month:

1)  It's easier to measure food than to "guesstimate" 4 ounces.

2)  Despite the weight loss, my energy level is down big time.  Doc says this is normal for the first 1-3 months.  I'm living for the day when I'm not wiped out at 6:30 pm!

3)  We went to see the Little River Band at the Alton Amphitheatre last Friday.  I was actually able to navigate up and down the stairs 3 times without getting winded.  I cannot express how wonderful that was.

4)  I love that on most days (not yesterday as evidenced in the pic above), I have MY ankles back and can fit into some shoes I once thought I'd have to give up for life.  Even if this means looking at old Harley-Davidson scars (don't ask).  I can't wait for the day I can rock a pair of strappy sandals.  I'm living for that moment!

5)  My boobs are slowly shrinking.  So I no longer fill out the cups which looks ridiculous...but I'm too cheap to keep buying bras so I'm waiting for bigger changes before I do!

6)  a mere 36 lbs makes a big difference in mobility.

7)  Going up and down the stairs to the man cave is getting easier.  Look out, Kevin!

8)  I'm DOING this!  Yea, it's only been one month.  But I'm taking it ONE month at a time....now on to the next...........

9)  There is a direct correlation between my mobility and my happiness (I never realized this before).

10)  I feel energized mentally.

11)  Last night I pulled weeds while Kevin hosed out the garage.  It felt good to be out there working and making the yard look nicer (even if we have a long way to go on that note).

12)  I still get hot, tired and winded when I exert myself physically; but it is better than it was before and it will continue getting better.

13)  I care about my appearance more than I did a month ago.  It's as if I'm slowly getting my "ME" back.

14)  I am thirsty all the time.  And I find it helpful (to get to my 64 oz minimum) if I use my Des Peres Hospital mug (which holds 28 oz).  I tell myself if I drink two full mugs of water daily, I'm doing good.  The NP agreed.

15)  If I take my vitamins at bedtime (multi, iron and regular meds), I have all day to down 3 Oscal at separate times.

16)  ProBiotics help with the gas that is inevitable with gastric bypass.  My husband is still laughing at the lady (on a bypass forum) who says she practically levitates off the chair.

17)  My rings are loose.  They can go on or off easily.  That's a first!

18)  If I want to drop more rapidly, I will need an exercise regimen.  Right now I rely on our weekend running as a family as my exercise.  But I need to carve out some time daily to even do a 7 minute workout each day to help...and build from there.  This will be my WIP....work in progress.

19)  My former surgeon (who did my lap-band) was all over the KC news this week.  His office was closed, he was evicted for failure to pay rent and his patients up a creek.  Glad I'm no longer under his care.  Here's the link to the story:  http://fox4kc.com/2014/09/26/weight-loss-surgeons-disappearance-leaves-patients-in-perplexing-situation/   and  http://www.kshb.com/news/region-kansas/evicted-doctor-working-to-return-medical-records

20)  My current surgeon's office would not take my unopened bariatric vitamins (that dissolvables that make me nauseated-the Bari*Activ MultiVitamin and Calcium) and give to another patient.  I didn't want them to go to waste.  So I took them on my appointment hoping to help a patient who couldn't otherwise afford them.  So I had to walk in the lobby after my appointment and offer them to whoever was sitting there.  Fortunately a woman took me up on them, so they didn't go to waste.  I am now buying my own multi vitamin and calcium.  It's just easier for me to swallow a pill and not deal with taste than to take a dissolvable that nauseates me!  I have informed the company who sends them to only send me B-12 and Iron in the future.

Funny little things.  They say this is more mental than physical, which is scary in an unknown kinda of way.  But I'm starting to see what they mean.  I can't imagine what it will be like at the 6 mo or 12 mo marks.  I'm sure it will be more magnified.

All in all, the changes that have taken place in a mere 30 days are remarkable.  I look forward to seeing what unfolds in the next 30.  I'm still amazed at science and medicine and how far I've come in 4 weeks (recovery wise).  I like to think that I've already had my living hell with the lap-band.  I've had pretty good luck with the bypass so far.  And I hope it stays that way.

I booked Fox's birthday party and ordered the cake.  Surprisingly, the cake lady didn't have a sugar free option, or so she said.  This floored me given all the sugar free mixes and frosting you see in the average grocery store and knowing how my Mom and Abbie manage to bake with Splenda and Truvia.  But I'm hoping to come up with an alternative I can enjoy at his party, too.  I have a while yet, his birthday is in December!

I also asked the NP if I had to give up alcohol forever.  Not that I drink much; but Kevin and I have a weekend winery trip booked again for our anniversary this year.  My favorite of the Grafton wines is "Autumnberry", only available this time of year.  So I had hoped to enjoy some that weekend.  I was surprised to learn that alcoholism is 5x more likely in gastric bypass patients.  This is due in part to them giving up one addiction for another.  SCARY statistic.  But she told me I CAN have wine occasionally (which is all I drink it anyway) but warned me that it will take a LOT less to get me "drunk" now due to certain parts of my intestinal anatomy that were sacrificed during my surgery.  She said I may not be able to drink an entire glass.  And that I need to sip it and see how I feel, that a couple sips could actually get me pretty woozy.  Interesting.  I wouldn't have thought about that.  So I was glad we had the discussion.  It was good preparation.  Maybe we should have a contest to see how many sips it will take for me to get buzzed on Autumnberry?  Anyone care to venture a guess??  Answer on or around October 26th!!!

This weekend is my 30 year high school reunion.  I organized it single handedly.  I wish I could have been down 100 lbs before it.  But I had to wait for insurance to approve the procedure and that cost me a year.  Oh well, I can at least go knowing I'm taking care of myself now.

On October 18th, I've enlisted a cousin I've never met (yea my family is crazy big like that) to take our family portraits.  I'm not at my goal weight; but I'm still proud of and love my family.  So I can't wait to have pics with Fox and Kevin for our holiday cards.  It's been 3 years since we last had a photo shoot.  Check out my cousin's website:  http://aaronkranz.smugmug.com/ or https://www.facebook.com/aaronkranzphoto/timeline .

I'm looking forward to a trip to Vegas in November.  I am hoping I will be able to walk more and have more endurance by then.  We love Vegas!

With so much going on, my brain is all over the place.  So I apologize for the lack of organized writing and random thoughts.  But I wanted to get an update out; as I know several who have been waiting for it.  I will blog monthly from here on out.  Here's hoping I can remember everything that happens on the daily at the end of each month!!!

Wishing you all a great week and a fantastic Autumn season!!!

Lori

PS-For those following in my footsteps, there isn't much I haven't eaten in the past two weeks (remember I accelerated my own diet progression and I was lucky to be able to tolerate it).  A few things as examples that I'm eating and have been for a week or so now:

Pasta Con Broccoli
Chicken Flautas
Tuna Salad
Chicken Salad
Melba Toast
Cobb Salad
Eggs
Grits
Rice
Refried Beans
Taco Soup
Taco Salad
Chips
Frito Scoops
etc

The only things I'm still avoiding:  bread, sweets with sugar in them and carbonated beverages.

Back to Work!-3 week post op update

Wow!  Hard to believe it's only been 3 weeks since my surgery.  I'm still amazed at the recovery given the time lapsed.

On Monday (the 15th) I returned to work.  It took me three days to clean up my email and address all open items accordingly...just in time to start focusing on end of quarter!  I found that by the end of the work day, I was utterly and completely exhausted.  I was in bed and half asleep each evening by 8 pm.  Sad, I know.  But with the little nutrients I'm getting and the struggle to get all the vitamins and protein down, the doctor says this is normal (for the first 1-3 mos).  Thank goodness I am close to having one month behind me already!

As far as diet goes...I was allowed to introduce the following into my diet:  eggs, soft baked fish, mashed potatoes, low-fat soft cheeses and canned veggies, officially.

The eggs were wonderful; but got old fast (similar to the grits of a week or so ago).  I went to the grocery store and stocked up on cod, tilapia and sole.  Thanks to handy dandy Pinterest, I was able to find plenty of fish recipes.  Sadly, I only made one this week.  I made all four tilapia filets in one recipe.  Two for Kevin for one dinner, one for me (which was well over my 4 oz limit) and plenty of leftovers to have for lunches.

I decided to try a healthy Baked Parmesean Tilapia recipe along with mashed potatoes and canned green beans.  I was THRILLED as I felt like I was going to eat a full on MEAL versus 4 oz of one item.

The recipe I chose can be found here:  http://www.madefrompinterest.net/2014/01/baked-parmesan-tilapia/

Dinner was delicious on last Friday.  Kevin liked it.  I experienced the first "FULL" or "Food Coma" feeling since I had the surgery but it was tasty.  I bought a food scale but the batteries weren't working; so I couldn't use it just yet.  But I obviously ate more than 4 oz. as I was MISERABLE.  In fact, I wound up lying down after dinner to calm my stomach and ended up going to sleep after that.  I was blessed in that I did not regurgitate anything.  I am so afraid to do so, given the newness of all the surgeon's hard work.  I didn't want to risk tearing any incisions open, etc.

Within a day or so I mentioned the scale to Kevin who then "fixed" it; but not before walking into the bedroom where I was, shaking his head and swearing that I am blonde.  Apparently I had the batteries in backwards.

I tried eating the Tilapia for left overs one day at lunch; but found myself feeling the same way again.  So I never did go back for more.  Instead, I've been eating all kinds of random things.  I've been VERY good about staying off the carbonated beverages and sugar.  However, I did lose my patience and jump ahead with my diet progression a bit....by what my stomach would tolerate.  So I have been eating avocado, tuna salad, shredded chicken, etc.  So far, so good, although the weight loss is going slower now that I'm eating more solid foods again.

I've also been OUT to eat a couple times this past week, which was nerve wracking yet liberating at the same time.  Saturday we had cracker barrel for a late breakfast/brunch.  I ordered egg beaters and cheesy grits.  The egg beaters were ok but not scrambled.  I only ate half of them.  They had cheese and onion on them.  The cheesy grits were a JOKE.  They were more like grits with a few sprinkles of shredded cheese on them.  Not as tasty; but I did eat all of them.  It was hard looking at Kevin's two plates full of all the good stuff; but I realized that when I focused on what was in front of me, I filled up and felt content.  Thank goodness.

We have been remiss (given Kevin's OT and my exhaustion) at walking daily; but we do get a fair amount of walking in, with our weekend festivities.  This past weekend we attended Celebrate St. Peters.  Despite VIP parking, we had a good walk past the new pavilion, food area, main stage and to the carnival fairway.  I did share an $8 order of Pork nachos with Kevin while we waited for the Ozark Mountain Daredevils to take the stage.  It was pulled pork with no sauce on it and cheese over chips.  It was about the only fair food I thought I could actually "do".  I also drank water!  One thing that did surprise me was the Shaved Ice truck actually had sugar free options.  No banana; but I was impressed regardless.  Kevin grabbed me a sugar free strawberry.  It was ok.  Honestly, I'd have rather just had the plain ice to go with my water.

Sunday we walked a lot after taking Fox home.  We then shopped down in the Washington, MO area at Target, Ross and Marshall's.  I felt good other than the tender incision area I have.  Makes it hard to get in and out of the car, all the bending and stretching made me sore.  After our shopping extravaganza, we had dinner at Ernesto's, my favorite little mexican joint in that part of town.  I love their chicken flautas.  So my entree came with 2 chicken (pulled) flautas, rice and beans.  I managed to eat some chips and cheese dip before dinner; but I was so afraid to fill up on those, that I had to force myself to wait for my entree.  When it arrived, I was able to eat 1/2 of one of the flautas and a few bites each of rice and beans.  I had the same for lunch today.  It doesn't get any better than that!  What you see on the plate below is about 4.4 oz of mexican goodness!

So, I'm starting to get a sense of normalcy back, which is nice.  It's important to have a routine.

One thing I noticed (as did my loving husband) is that I have had a lot more gas since I've been eating.  Not the kind of bent over in miserable pain gas; but the kind where you're not going to hold it back because the relief feels too good gas.  And it seems constant.  I'm not sure what causes this.  But my handy dandy husband decided to research it.  Next thing I know, we're lying in bed last night and he's laughing his ass off at the forum he googled and all the women talking about gas.  He literally laughed out loud when one woman claimed that she nearly levitated off the bed it got so bad!!!  And this is what I'm dealing with.  Kevin refers to it as my butt trumpet.  I'm becoming quite an accomplished musician, I suppose!

Honestly, that's really the only side effect I've had to date.  I'm doing pretty well.  I'm getting around pretty good.  I sit when I need to.  I am not lifting much as the bending and stretching part still bothers me; but I am otherwise self sufficient.

I still struggle with trying to get 3 calcium horse pills in per day....all at different times and not with the Iron pill I take at night with all my prescription meds and my multivitamin.  That will be an ongoing challenge; but I'm working at it.

I also find it hard to NOT drink water 30 min before or after and during meals.  It seems like I'm thirsty all the time; but since I can't take big gulps and have to sip, it takes all day (even during meals) to reach my 64 oz attainment per day.  I started using my Des Peres Hospital mug that is 28 oz....I fill it up twice and shoot to drink both mug fulls a day to get close, at least.  These goals are harder for me than sticking to the 4 oz thanks to my new size stomach.

Question for my nurse friends and family:  If I need to get 1500 mg of Calcium per day and the body only absorbs 500 mg at a time, how long do I need to wait between doses?  How closely or far apart must I take them?

Lastly, for what everyone really wants to know.........I weighed in this morning at 321.  Yesterday said 320.  That's down from the start weight of 356 by 35 lbs; and a weekly loss of ony 2 lbs.  But I'll take it!

This coming weekend we have a concert to attend Friday night (which I'm sure will involve walking) and a birthday party at a winery on Sunday (also sure to involve some walking).  I plan to forgo the vino until I talk to my doctor.  I am afraid to risk the sugar and alcohol, honestly.  But I do hope I can have some on our anniversary weekend wine trip (our new annual thing).  I'll have to check my favorite wines to see how much sugar is in it.  Wonder if it will say?  Two things you supposedly give up for life when you have gastric bypass is sugar and alcohol.  So I don't want to sabotage myself.

I did have this "notion" this week to have things around that I CAN eat when I have a craving, per se.  So poor Kevin went on a hunt for sugar free chocolate.  I asked him for some basic sugar free Russell Stover's options from the local Walgreen's.  But he came home with $19 worth of sugar free caramels and turtles from Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate.  BROWNIE points.  I have maybe 1-2 a day and feel like I'm not doing without.  I dunno, something about feeling like I can't just sets me up for failure.  So I'm trying to do my own version of "Eat this, not that" right here at home.  He also got me some sugar free Murray brand cookies...three different kinds (a girl must have choices).  So he bought me oatmeal, pecan shortbread and fudge covered wafers (a take off of my favorite Fudgesticks).  All were surprisingly good.  Again, the idea is to keep me from binging and sabotaging this grand plan.  And if those options weren't enough to have handy, Kevin also got me a sugar free small tub of Edy's ice cream.  I haven't checked to see if it's the same Fat Free Sugar Free stuff I used to eat but could never tell the difference.....but hopefully it is.  Then I can feel like I can have ice cream, too.

Next I need to find sugar free cakes, brownies and other treats I can eat when hosting parties.  I ordered Fox's birthday cake and asked the lady if she could do a sugar free option.  I was floored when she said no, considering there are sugar free mixes, frostings, etc.  I will figure something out for me, though.  Rest assured.

We still have cod and sole in the freezer; so I imagine that I will try that this week, as well.  And maybe some tuna salad.

Over all I feel good; and the 35 lb loss has been nice.  I am fitting into clothes differently and once again my husband told me he could see it in my clothes and that he was proud of me.  There are no sweeter words that could come from his mouth.

One step at a time.........following my own yellow brick road......hoping to find the wizard of skinny.  Well, maybe not SKINNY but healthy and slimmer.  How's that?

Until next time............thanks again for all the kind words, love and encouragement as well as your friendship.

Lori

Week Two Post Op update

Week two post op was MUCH better than week one.  I was able to spend my last week of medical leave alone by day, no assistance needed.  I am still experiencing some tenderness or discomfort on one side of my belly, Seems like one or two incision areas, specifically.  Both near my naval.  It's manageable; but I find myself holding that part of my tummy subconsciously.

I find myself living for Friday's now because that's when I get to start on the next progression level of my diet.  This past Friday, I graduated to my "Week Three" food plan:  Soft Foods.  I am now allowed eggs/egg substitutes/egg whites, Natural nut butters (no sugar or oil added), soft baked fish (cod, tilapia, sole, whitefish), Mashed Potatoes (no skin); Low fat soft cheeses (cottage cheese, string cheese or sliced cheese), canned vegetables (no salt added) or fresh cooked to mush (no thank you), canned fruit in their own juice and bananas.  Silly as it sounds, every Friday is a celebration.  I'm ready to introduce more foods into the plan and feel like I'm getting closer to my new normal.  This week I can make fish, veggies and mashed potatoes and actually feel like I'm having a MEAL with Kevin for the first time in several weeks.  Very refreshing.  It's the little things!

I pretty much spent the past week at home resting.  Friends came by to visit me during the days and nights.  It was good company yet also tiring.  Plus my house wasn't really up to par on cleaning.  Oh well.  Friday I decided to venture out and do some walking (test my endurance/stamina) at the Outlet mall in Chesterfield.  My mom and aunt joined me.  It was COLD.  I did pretty well, stopping and taking a breather on the abundance of benches they had as needed.  Afterwards, we went to iHop for lunch.  I was a little anxious about eating out for the first time after surgery.  Dining out was always such a hassle after my lap band surgery.  Often times I'd get sick and spend time in the bathroom waiting for my food to come back up.  I was haunted by such memories.  However, everything went off without a hitch in my Friday lunch experiment.  I ordered scrambled eggs (the nurse practitioner said I could eat my eggs however I wanted them) with onion and cheese..  The served me well over 4 oz; but I nibbled and tried not to push the envelope.  It worked.  What a HUGE relief.  I want to be able to dine out in the future and remain within my limitations without getting ill.  I ate slowly, of course.

One thing I'm REALLY struggling with is the rule to NOT drink 30 min. before or after meals.  It's so second nature for me to drink with my meals, that I can't even dream of not taking a sip here and there during a meal.  The idea of this is so I do not wash the food through my new stomach pouch.  The purpose is for the food to sit there and give me the sensation of being satisfied or full.

I'm also unable to GULP liquids down now.   Everything is about SIPPING.  Do you know how hard it is to sip when you feel like you're thirsty as hell?  Try it sometime.  It's maddening.

Anyway, so after iHop we hit the Hallmark store in Chesterfield bottoms then we parted ways with my aunt before heading back to St. Charles for a couple more pit stops.  Mom joined me at our brand new CVS for opening day.  There I was able to grab some multivitamins and calcium citrate with vitamin D (two required dailies that I'll be on till I die).  The bariatric vitamin company I've been going through send me monthly prescriptions of both; but they are chewable/dissolvable and literally make me nauseous.  So, I need to call them and drop those two items and just stick with pills I can swallow.  Hopefully they will allow me to order the B12 nasal spray I take once weekly and my iron pill still (it's also dissolvable but not as putrid).  I'll need to look into my options this coming week.

Our last stop was Schnucks, where I had to pick up some things to support my week three and four food plans and also some items to serve during my Life Expressions party on Saturday.  It's always hard picking out things to serve others that I can't enjoy myself.  It's good to learn to resist, I suppose.

Once we got home on Friday both mom and I were WIPED OUT,  It was a 9 hour day for us.  She headed home; and I plopped myself on the sofa where I remained until bed time.

Yesterday I hosted a Life Expressions party, which was FUN.  Friends and Family joined me in making some signs for gifts and our own home decor.  It was a fun home party concept.  For food we had chips, salsa, veggie tray, buffalo chicken dip, tuna salad, chicken salad and a party platter of sandwiches from Subway.  Oh, and how could I forget, LOFTHOUSE cookies (my all time favorite).  Funny how I've never been into sub sammies; but damn they were tempting.  Particularly mom's home made chicken salad and tuna salad on dollar rolls (thanks Mom for contributing those to the party).  OH how my mouth watered to have one of each.  Sadly, tuna salad wasn't on my food plan until this coming Friday.  I managed to resist until near the end of the party.  Then I went outside of the box and scraped the contents off of the bun to enjoy the contents of one of each.  It was a total guilty pleasure of mammoth proportions.  HIT.THE.SPOT.  Although, I've been trying to go by the book, I veered a little.  At least it wasn't a glass of soda or a damned lofthouse cookie!!!!  I sinned but made a better choice.  Moving forward it's going to be ALL ABOUT making better choices.  I know this.

So tonight Kevin and I are having fish, mashed potatoes and canned green beans.  Not the same as the steamed ones we prefer; but it will do for now.  At least I'll be able to sit at the table and enjoy a MEAL with him for a change.

And to the news everyone is really waiting for.  I lost another 10 lbs in the past week.  I'm using 356 as my starting weight even though I dropped 7 lbs. prior to surgery while on my 3 day liquid diet.  That said, I am now weighing in at 323 for a total loss of 33 pounds, to date.  I don't know what to really say about it.  It's all very surreal to me.  I do not feel hungry.  I feel more thirst than hunger.  Not sure which is worse?!  I try not to push it to where I do feel full.  I'm learning to stop eating when I feel content or satisfied.  Before I'd eat till I was full.  Friends and family have commented that they can see some of the weight loss in my face.  Here's hoping that all my chins will disappear over time!!!

I strive to take all my meds and vitamins in one day, drink 64 oz of liquid (water or tea) each day and get 60 g. of protein in each day.  It's not as easy as it sounds.  Work in progress.

My biggest challenges so far are as follows:

1)  Not drinking with my meals
2)  Getting on a schedule to get all the meds and vitamins in (some can't be taken with others, etc)
3)  Eating three meals a day versus my typical two
4)  Getting 64 oz. of liquids in per day and not being able to take large drinks at a time, just sips.

These will continue to be a work in progress.

I'm definitely ready for Friday when I can "officially" have tuna salad, egg salad, low fiber cold cereals (i.e. Cheerios) and crackers (Ritz, graham or saltine).

Temptation is all around me.  And it will be all around me for the remainder of my life; so I may as well learn how to control it now.  My biggest fear is failure.  Thank goodness I keep reminding myself to "Let my FAITH be greater than my fear".

I'm still very confused by the notion that there's the whole other gal inside me.  Of my friends who have had the procedure, their before pics look like a totally different person.  You can't even tell they are one in the same.  This blows my mind, honestly.  I don't know who the person is inside me, I can't imagine what it will be like to discover her and I often wonder if I'll even like her.  I can't really describe my range of motions when it comes to this.  Regardless, I'm taking everything one day at a time.  It's like I'm giving birth to a whole new me yet this is the only me I know how to be (after 48 years).  Crazy.  In the end all I really want is to be more healthy and fit for the active lifestyle we have and keeping up with Fox....and to be happy.  It wouldn't hurt if my husband found me more attractive then, either.

I made 4 oz of eggs this morning, I can't even eat half of it.  I'm not going to push it.

Again, I thank all who have reached out via phone, email, FB posts or messages, flowers, visits, gifts, etc.  They say it's imperative to have a great support network when going through this; and I am so very blessed to have you in it.

Have a great week everyone!