Two Month Post Op Update

My gastric bypass surgery seems like the distant past.  Hard to believe it's only been two months....and what a couple of months it's been?!

I've dropped another 2 lbs. since my 10-16 update for a total of 10 lbs down since my one month post op and an overall weight loss of 46 pounds.

I'm down a total of three pants sizes and down one (almost two) shirt sizes.  Bras are a funny subject.  My boobs are definitely shrinking.  But my band size is shrinking faster than my cup size.  I no longer fill my old DD cups.  Instead, I look like a pre-teen who has been "stuffing" for years!!!  Yet I seem to spill out of my D's.  Either way, I look like a misfit who doesn't know how to buy a good bra!!!  I can't wait till the day I can go get fitted and have good bras that hold my boobs up where they should be.  For now, I'm getting $16 cheapies to carry me through the transition periods.

And, all of a sudden I'm buying "petite" length jeans.  Either I'm shrinking or they are changing the inseams in the industry.

I have been buying some new clothes to carry me through the seasons and body changes.  I'm trying not to stock up too much.  Yet I'm also trying to be sure I have enough to get me through trips, going out, etc.  It's a fine line.  Yesterday I hit TJ Maxx and hit the motherlode on discount Michael Kors sweaters and cardigans for the fall/winter.  Bargain shopping is a necessity.

Once upon a time, when I hit 40 and was still single, I bought myself a gorgeous diamond ring and setting.  I now wear it on my right hand.  It has a lot of sentimental value to me and symbolizes my independence and proof that I can survive on my own (if I had to).  That ring now rotates in circles around my finger....too big.  Maybe someday I'll get it re sized.  I'll continue wearing it until it literally falls off.  Then it will be stored for resizing once my weight loss has stabilized.  The ring on my left hand is similar, only less loose at this time, thank goodness.

Above Pic:  Before Surgery (left) and 2 mo post op pic (right)

Above Pic:  One mo. post op (left), 2 mo post op (right)

Because this "journey" is much more than physical, I try to share some of the mental challenges, as well.

I'm STILL trying to wrap my head around the mind vs. stomach battle.  My MIND wants to fill my plate or order generous portions when out.  My stomach is clearly not having that.  I ALWAYS have leftovers to take home or to package up at home.  ALWAYS!  I don't like to eat just ONE thing at a meal.  Sampler platters at restaurants are ideal for me.  Then I can have a taste of multiple things, at least.  Often times my leftovers end up going to waste.  I eat on them twice but never seem to want it four meals in a row!!!

Some days I have no appetite, whatsoever!  On the days I do feel "hungry", I eat; but find myself FULL very quickly.  Enjoying a meal is a rare treat!  My go to breakfast (and sometimes lunch) is peanut butter on a toasted English muffin, or a toasted thin bagel or just plain toast!  I usually have half a slice and I'm good!

Let's talk cravings.  So far I've been doing well with water and iced tea....no carbonated beverages.  On rare occasions, I crave a soda.  Last night, I turned to my husband and asked him if he thought it would be the kiss of death if I had one.  He promptly blurted, "YES!".  So I went back to water.  It's good for me to have someone to keep me honest with myself.  Accountability is important.  Every once in a while I still crave a soda.  But the reality is, I'm still MORE afraid to ruin my overall plan or goal.  So it takes over any craving I have.  I hope that will continue to be the case.

Speaking of cravings, I STILL have all the crazy sugar free snacks and treats that I was SURE I'd be craving all the time.  But the interesting thing is, even though I THINK I want them, I take a bite and either feel full or unsatisfied; so I end up abandoning the snack altogether.  My mind is still blown away by this; and I wish it wouldn't even trick me into thinking these things sound good at those times.  Because it ends up being a huge waste of time and money.  Not to mention, it often leaves my stomach feeling blah!

Instead, I've found myself enjoying hard candy for the first time in my life.  My go to treat is now a sugar-free caramel coffee Werther's.  Whodathunkit?!

Remember how I was curious to know what would happen if I had alcohol in small quantities?  Well last weekend on our annual anniversary trip to Grafton, IL, I had some wine for the first time since surgery.  We went over to Aerie's Winery.  Kevin bought a bottle of "Sandy's Candy" sweet red wine.  Mmmmm.  I followed the doctor's advice and started with a very small amount in my glass and sipped.  So far, so good.  I had a second "glass",....if I had to guess I'd say each was between 1/4 and 1/2 cup.  I would have had more except the bottle was gone, LOL.  I didn't feel tipsy at all.  No sugar reactions, nothing........just a thirst for more.  Mmmmm.  WHY didn't we buy a bottle to take home?!

And while we're on the subject of alcohol.  Kevin and I went out to Red Lobster Monday night for dinner.  I decided to "celebrate" by ordering my favorite frozen drink, a Mudslide.  I have mixed feelings about whether that was a good idea or not.  It was literally a taste of heaven.  Kevin watched my reaction as I drank it and laughed at me.  You'd think I was having an orgasm?!  I had MAYBE 1/4 of it and then got miserably FULL.  The rest went to waste.  I hated to waste such an expensive drink.  So now I'm left wondering if the cost was worth the heaven I tasted in that little quantity?!  Not sure.  Again, no tipsy feeling or anything like that.  Just a stomach that was like, "What they hell were you thinking?!"  I was thinking of immediate gratification, that's what!!!

I stand by a comment in one of my previous comments in this blog, that my weight loss has had a direct impact on my happiness.  I always thought I was a pretty happy person, in general.  But I've noticed I am happier and enjoy being "me" more now.  I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I have lost a little weight to where I can live with myself now versus that feeling of being defeated (by the excess weight) before.  Again, not sure.  I'm still processing a lot of this.

I can tell you that nothing feels greater than having your friends hug you and tell you how proud or happy they are for you.  Or a compliment like, "You look great".  It's AMAZING what it does for the soul.  Just knowing you are doing something to save yourself is empowering over that former defeatist mentality.

One of the biggest perks of the weight loss I've had so far is that I find I'm not getting winded or out of breath near as easily as I used to.  I can walk farther now.  Parking at a hockey game and walking to the stadium is not out of the realm of possibilities now.  Just a very liberating feeling.  Like I'm getting my life back, one pound at a time.

And lastly, for the first time in like 3 years, I set up an appointment to have our family portraits taken.  I've avoided it like the plague because I hated how I looked.  Now I can live with who I am on the outside 'cos I know it's a work in progress and WILL get better.

Thank you, again, for all the words of encouragement.  For the compliments on my blog and for your friendship.  Words cannot express how far that goes in motivating me to continue on said journey.

God Bless.

Lori

Just a quick post with some side by side comparison pics for you.

The first is my before on the right (Aug 2014) and my present on the left (Oct 18-2014).  I chose a very bad before pic as it's skewed from the cropping I've done to it.

Following is a comparison from last month (Sept) on the right to this month 10-18-14 on the left.

Seems like there's not much to report when I am not going to the doctor weekly or even monthly any longer.  However, I know there are many of you who are anxious to know how my "journey" is going.

My last update was Sept. 29th.  Today is October 16th, so it's really only been 2.5 weeks.

So, without further adieu, I will share the GREAT news:  As of this morning I am down a total of 44 pounds since my starting weight.  This means an 8 lb loss since my last update or in 2.5 wks.  I am a mere 12 lbs from breaking into the 200s.  I know that's astonishing to many.  But it's a landmark for me; and I will be celebrating it, regardless of the shame of how I ever got that bad off.

I've made some interesting observations over the past month that I'd like to share, as well.  Pardon the TMI....but it's important to get this out there for those reading who may choose to follow in my footsteps.

• I've been off carbonated beverages since early August, so a little over 2 months.  I really don't crave soda at this point.  Only when I am really thirsty and that seems to be the ONLY option....but I go out of my way to find water in those cases.  I tell myself that soda is the KISS OF DEATH, that I'll stretch my stomach thus sabotaging my surgery and goals.  To date, I've been able to avoid any temptation.  Water and Tea it is.
• Same with sugar.  Something I thought would NEVER happen; but I don't really crave chocolate and sweets near as much as I used to.  Once in a while my mind thinks I want a "treat"; but when I grab a sugar free snack (such as a SF Hershey mini bite), I eat one and then I have no desire for more.  Doesn't even appeal to me any longer.  This is HUGE and I would have NEVER believed it.  Regardless, my mind still seems to think I want it; and I find myself buying and stocking such snacks.  But when I take a bite, my stomach reminds me, "No thank you".  It did not, however, stop me from staring at Abbie's "Missylicious" cupcake from Jilly's when she was hospitalized!!! My mind was envious, stomach not so much.
• Speaking of the mind vs. stomach thing.  It's really messing with me.  My mind still wants to be in control; but it's clearly my stomach that calls the shots.  So it's been an interesting transition and work in progress to stop listening to the mind and start putting my trust in my stomach.  I'm not there yet.  I still want to put large portions on my plate.  Yet I never finish them.  Even though I am eating significantly less than I did prior to surgery, I still tend to put more on my plate than I can handle with my new "pouch" or stomach.
• On that same order, I wish I had an internal alarm warning me to stop taking bites and walk away BEFORE I take that last one that later gives me nausea.  This is a BIG one.  Seems I take one extra bite than I should have more often than not then I feel ill and have to lie down or take an anti nausea pill.  It would be great if my stomach just set off an alarm that told me, "Lori, I feel full, STEP AWAY from the FOOD".  But no....there is no warning system, it's all trial and error.  As an example, the other night we had Hawaiian Ham Sammies for dinner.  They are the size of a King's Hawaiian dinner roll.  Kevin brought me two of them, no sides, just two sandwiches.  I ate one and a half.  TOO MUCH.  If I had stopped at ONE....I could have avoided nausea.  Again, my mind is at war with my stomach now.  Mind says, "Damn this is good, GET IT, Gurl".....and the stomach says, "I dare ya".
• OK, and not to be GROTESQUE, but another observation I've made is that no matter what I eat, I have HELLA gas.  This is not an understatement folks.  I'm talking, wake me up from a deep sleep and sometimes wake my husband up, gas.  It's a miserable feeling that leaves you longing for relief.  This morning, my husband came into the room to kiss me goodbye before he left for work.  His first greeting to me as I was waking was, "This is a good place for a stick up!".  LOL.  I am going to look into taking Maalox twice a day or a ProBiotic (which I have on hand).  It's embarrassing.
• At only 6.5 weeks out from surgery, I am able to eat most anything at this point and long gave up on the 2 month diet progression pamphlet the doctor's office gave me as a guideline.
• I can find something on most any restaurant menu to order, although I always have leftovers.  This makes dining out and socializing easier.
• While I do have Fibromyalgia and with the exception of the events that have taken place with my Aunt Abbie over the past couple weeks, my energy level has increased in general.  This makes me happy; and I look forward to further improvement!
• To date, this entire Gastric Bypass journey seems tremendously more easy that the LAP BAND, based on my experiences.  I am not having near the complications or struggles that I had with my band.  No throwing up (my greatest fear), no foaming of the mouth, no social anxiety in public eateries, etc.  I don't want to jinx myself; but it seems like the bypass is a walk in the park comparatively speaking.  WHY didn't I just go this route back in 2006?!
• I am definitely happier and no longer hiding at home or refraining from social events....probably because I know I'm taking steps in the right direction.  I'm still in awe of the rapid recovery I've had.
• My husband looks at me with more of a sense of pride now.  He'll occasionally comment that he can see it in my face or in my clothes, etc.  Words can't describe what a beautiful feeling this gives me.
• 44 lbs. has not meant a lot to me (personally) in the way of clothing sizes.  I've pulled out some older clothes that were slightly tight before.  I can fit in them comfortably now.  But I haven't been able to go down more than 1 size, to date.  I also feel like my shirt size has only gone down by one, as well.  I would have liked it to mean more; but I'll get there eventually.  It's been fun pulling out old dresses, pants, blouses and be able to re-introduce them to my current wardrobe.  So far I've not had to purchase a lot of new clothing.  I'm not dropping so fast that I'm buying new clothes weekly or anything crazy like that.  Since I work from home, I tend to wear sweats and yoga pants which buys time.  What I'm not sure of, is how I'll stay in jeans that look nice as my body changes.  I haven't really tried them on much.  We have family portraits to be taken this weekend.  I'm praying I will have something to put on my butt that won't look too goofy.  Stay tuned for the outcome of that, LOL.
• I've discovered a new appreciation for hard candy.  I've never been much on it, personally.  But lately, I keep a personal stock of Werther's Sugar Free Caramel Coffee candies.  I'm more likely to "snack" on those than cupcakes, cookies, chocolate bars, etc.  I've been VERY good about avoiding sugar and plan to keep it that way.
• I have not had many issues with swelling of my legs and feet since my surgery.  I've even been able to wear some shoes that I once tried to sell because of that edema.  This is a wonderful thing.  Less discomfort and more fashionable!  WIN-WIN

I'm constantly making observations as I make my way down this new path in life. I will wait until the 28th to take a monthly photo to share.

I cannot thank you all enough for the words of encouragement and support.

Life is GOOD!

Lori