So for those "in the know", I had gastric lap band surgery in 2006. Once I began getting "adjustments" to my band or "fills" as we like to call them.........I began a THREE YEAR process of regurgitating all of my meals....with little to no weight loss beyond the initial 50 lbs I dropped before the fills.
In January 2010, with the urging and support of my husband (Kevin) and parents, my lap band was completely drained. In the past 3 yrs I've proceeded to gain all of my original weight back PLUS an additional near 50 lbs. A year of unemployment and stress didn't help matters.
Now that I'm working and insured.........AND trying to schlep luggage and a heavy laptop through airports semi-regularly, I've decided it's time to revisit the subject of weight loss surgery. With the encouragement of my husband, parents and extended family and a friend who recently had her band removed and got gastric bypass surgery, I saw a surgeon a few weeks ago for a consult. We began the process of obtaining all of the items on a "checklist" to gain approval from the insurance company.
Fortunately, the surgeon is thorough....so he also ordered some outpatient procedures: and Endoscopy (to take a look at what my stomach is up to (given I still have the band as an implant, although it's empty), a battery of blood work (mostly to check my clotting enzymes since I had a major blood clot in 2009) and a venous Doppler test (to check for any clotting or red flags prior to surgery as that could alter the treatment plan).
The outpatient procedures were scheduled for today. While I was in that area I was also scheduled to see the dietitian (for an insurance mandated consult) and also have a psychiatric evaluation (also one of the pre approval requirements for insurance).
I was advised that I wouldn't be able to drive myself home; so my mom was gracious enough to go with me. Since Kevin is new on his job, we really didn't want for him to have to take off. Given I had like 3 procedures and 2 appointments, I took a day off from work! Not a good time to take off; but what can ya do??? It's never a good time to take off, least of all year end.
So here's how my long day ended up being even longer............
This morning I woke and showered with no problems, mom arrived early (true to form) and after I got dressed I found myself on a full out safari for my missing orange flip flop. Not just any flip flop, these are my BORN flip flops, comfy as heck...and summery. How does ONE flip flop go missing when you're anal enough to ALWAYS keep your shoes in the closet where they belong. Did one of the cats run off with it? Did it not make it out of a suitcase from a previous business trip? Did it not make it out of a hotel after a recent business trip? I had no friggin idea. But it was time to wear something else and get the hell out the door. So that I did.
We arrived at the doctor's office by 10 am, plenty of time for a one hour dietary consult and to get to the hospital by 11:30 for admittance. We waited in a crowded waiting room then I was finally called back.....only to be told they didn't have time to see me. I politely reminded her I'd taken the damned day off to take care of all this. And I also told her that I'd arranged all of this in advance; and it's not like I live nearby. All I got was a "sorry"....which hardly seemed adequate.
Mom and I now had 90 minutes to kill in West St. Louis County (which seems like a foreign country to me at times). We ventured out to find a Hallmark. Not knowing the area, we drove down Dougherty Ferry to Barrett Station to Barrett Station Parkway to Manchester with NO luck in finding a stinking Hallmark. We did, however, stumble across a Trader Joe's and decide to check it out for the first time. That was the fun part of the day......well, until I decided to get a $2 bag of Cheddar Horseradish flavored chips...........my fargin debit card was declined at the check out. OK, so if having your card declined isn't embarrassing enough, it was a TWO DOLLAR transaction. I almost went into cardiac arrest right there. Mom being the mom she is, put my bag with her items and check out while I made tracks to the car. There I logged onto my bank account from my cell phone to see WTF was going on with my account.
Whaddya know.....the dead beat tenant in my KS home BOUNCED her rent check, which sent our account into the negative. So here I am 15 minutes from a host of outpatient procedure with a serious spike in blood pressure. I was ready to say screw the procedures, let's go to KS. Picture two sassy ass redheads hauling balls across 70......oh yea, I didn't have effin MONEY to go to KS. So off to the hospital we went.
I'm sitting in admissions dialing like a mad woman to the lawyer who is supposedly handling the short sale of my house in KS. I get the usual voice mail with no return calls. This pisses me off even more.
Surprisingly once I was admitted and blood pressure was taken, it was quite normal. Thank God for small favors. While they were showing me to a "room"....think ER with curtains as dividers and people on both sides of me....they at least had the phlebotomist come in and take the labs. I'm a very hard "stick" so I've been told. But the gal got me the first time. I was elated. She filled her 6 tubes in like a minute flat. I was ready to kiss her cos I'd never been through that process so quickly! Then I asked her if she got the enzyme test (for the clotting factor), she said it wasn't ordered. So she asked to see my paperwork again and there it was. CRAP. She had to stick me AGAIN. Fortunately, it was every bit as quick and painless. One "procedure" down, two to go.
Next they made me get into my robe and began to search for a "good IV vein" which they couldn't find. So they had to stick me in a very uncomfortable place (inside my wrist) and it hurt like hell the entire time it was in. At that point, all I wanted was to get the procedure and lose the IV. Everyone told me the procedure (EGD) goes real fast, so I was counting on it. The test was scheduled for 12:30 and he does them in like a "batch" mode, one after another after another, assembly line-ish. Piece of cake, right?
Weeeellllll, we were told at 1 pm that the doctor was running late. I began to panic as I had a 3 pm pysch eval and still had a venous Doppler after the endoscopy! There was no way. I asked the nurse to call over to the office and cancel for me. But I was still worried that mom hadn't had anything to eat all day. She gets headaches if she goes too long. I hadn't been able to eat or drink either (due to doctors orders) but at least they had been giving me fluids. The nurses at Des Peres Endo Lab were WONDERFUL. They cancelled my 3 pm Psych Eval for me and notified mom in the waiting room so she wouldn't be wigging out, either. I mean, WHO do you think I get it from anyway??? I was pissed off that I am now going to have to take MORE time off to address the two things that didn't get done today; but what can you do? So they gave me warm blankies, turned my lights down and I drifted off to sleep (but NOT before praying!!!).
At 2:30 they informed the patients in the room that the doctor had arrived. He had 5 patients and I was 4th in line, of course! I think I got in at 3 pm and was done by 3:20. They gave me full anesthesia; so I was OUT, I remember nothing. Initially, they told me I would have conscious sedation. LUCKY ME, they put us all out completely. ZERO argument there. When I woke in recovery, I felt nothing, no sore or scratchy throat. I thanked the nurse anesthetist and the endo nurses who were all awesome....and they did me the courtesy of ditching the IV. Woo Hoo. Next time I have surgery, that will be the worst part given my non cooperative veins!
The doctor informed mom that everything went well, looked good and promising. He said he saw nothing wrong and we will be able to move forward....with planning on RYGB surgery once approved by insurance.
I got dressed and was whisked off to radiology in a wheelchair. There I got the 'ol venous Doppler. It wasn't my first rodeo with this; so I had nothing to fear. By 4:30 we were FINALLY done...........although we were two appointments short of our original agenda!
Mom drove home in full on St. Louis 270 rush hour traffic and treated me to dinner at El Maguey since we were both starved!
I'm home now and following doctor's orders to rest and take it easy the next 12 hours. I have to follow up at the doctor's office next week. Should be fun telling my boss I need to take another 1/2 day at minimum to take care of that and the other items. We are not "allowed" to take time off at month/year end, which is typically the last 2 weeks of each month. June happens to be fiscal year end; so that makes it even more special.
It's now 8:30 pm and I've still not heard back from the lawyer regarding what will be done about the bounced rent check. I tried like hell to get the nurse anesthetist to come home with me and administer that shiz that knocked me out and made me forget about everything so well. He laughed and said, "That's why Michael Jackson liked it so much!". Yes, I can see why, MJ.
I'll try to blog a little about my journey with the whole gastric bypass endeavor just as I did my lap band. I'm hoping to find much more success with this exercise....given the last one was such a waste! We'll see. I know a handful of people who have had real success with it, in addition to the celebrities we hear of (Star Jones, Al Roker, etc). I just PRAY I can get healthy enough to enjoy the lifestyle I try to have.........keeping up with Fox (my step-son), not getting so winded when hauling ass through an airport, not avoiding sporting events due to narrow seating (or airplanes for that matter), etc. Mobility is important.
For those who are reading this and saying, "why doesn't she just go on a diet and do it herself rather than take the easy way out"??? Clearly, you've never been more than 100 lbs overweight, so don't attempt to understand how "easy" or "difficult" it is. Keep your narrow mindedness to yourself and feel free to delete me if you see fit. To all others, thanks for being my family/friends and encouraging and supporting me through all my successes and failures. I need you.
Lori
UPDATE: Said Orange Flip Flop has since been found and rocked on numerous occasions since!
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