It occurred to me that my recent update only focused on GOOD things. I would be remiss if I didn't address some of the not so nice experiences I've had, as well. I call them "the bad and the ugly".
The truth is.......there is a LOT of UGLY when it comes to battling obesity. Society's perception is that overweight persons are slobs and eat all the time. Not necessarily true.
Doctors warned me to be careful of who I choose to share my story with as people can be very judgemental. I guess it was their way of trying to "protect" me (and their other patients, as well). But I decided to share my story publicly. First, there is "no shame in my game" and second, I didn't want to be like Starr Jones who came across like she lost all this weight on her own versus being open and honest about having surgery. To each their own. It is what it is. And the reality is that I felt like surgery was my only option to give me the jump start I needed to become more active. As simple as that. I deeply admire those who are able to drop 100 lbs + the old fashioned way of diet and mad exercise. I didn't have the confidence in myself to go that route.
You know the old saying, "kids are cruel"? Well, truth is, people can be very cruel, even adults. I've had people say things to me over the years that are still with me today. People I've worked with, teammates, clients, you name it. All.My.Life!
I'll never forget the time a male co-worker of mine, Merrill G. (real names used because I'm not concerned about protecting their identities) told me, "You would be so pretty if you just lost weight". Mind you, this was in the mid 90's when I weighed close to what I weigh now. So the comment was made LONG before I put on the additional 100 lbs. How was I supposed to take that??? The terribly sad thing is he thought he was complimenting me?!
Or just last week when I casually mentioned that I'd had bypass surgery to a client (somehow it came up in the context of the conversation) and her reply was, "Oh Lori, how did you let yourself get like that?". Well, Miss Jennifer W......as a matter of fact I was quite active until I broke my back at age 18. Life grounded to a halt and the pounds continued to accumulate from there. I guess I could have just said, "Well I couldn't overcome my love and addiction of 5 Big Macs a day". What the hell? This woman is my peer. I am now 49 years old. How do you ask someone that kinda question unless you are particularly close to them, personally? I dunno.
Those are just two examples that dumbfounded me.
Conversely, I have had ONE very well meaning friend approach me more delicately with a simple, "I'm worried about you" after she saw my mobility declining in between our annual visits. How was I to be angry or put off by her thoughts when she was RIGHT?! I appreciated her genuine concern; and shared those same concerns with her. Truth be known, I'm still in awe of how gracefully she was able to broach the subject. I was not at all offended. In fact, I felt very loved and cared for in that moment. We had a good heart to heart. This was shortly before I was given insurance approval to have the surgery. I hope she is proud of me or happy for me now. And I look forward to many more fun filled visits in the future!
This past week Kevin and I were scrolling through the guide on the television and landed on the show, "My 600 lb Life". It's a show where cameras follow the efforts of severely overweight individuals through their respective journeys to lose weight. We watched several back to back episodes. I cannot watch without crying. I WAS that person. Maybe not at 600 lb but otherwise, I shared the same struggles, same mental battles, etc. If you've never seen it and are curious, check it out: http://www.tlc.com/tv-shows/my-600-lb-life/ I watch and think to myself, I feel so sorry for that person. I even feel sorry for my "former" person. I've felt all those same things that you see them anguishing over. I wish I could tell them what I know now. I even cringe when I see them sabotage their efforts by binging on certain things. I've been known to do that. Before my surgery, I would send Kevin out for French Silk pies from time to time. I don't do that now. In fact, more often than not, I think I want something only to discover (a bite or two into it) that I don't even like it any more. You REALLY do lose cravings for things, in my case sugar. Last night, for example, Kevin decided to make himself a bowl of ice cream. It sounded good; so I had him make me one, too. We only keep Edy's No Sugar Added in the house, so I was safe. And we had some Sugar Free caramel and hot fudge toppings. I ate mine; but I was IMMEDIATELY nauseated. In fact, I was soooo nauseated (insert, "How nauseated were you?".....) that I had to take an anti nausea pill and pray myself to sleep. Pretty sure I won't be in a hurry to indulge in that any time soon.
I have discovered that the Lyon's Frozen Custard stand by our house has a Sugar Free Vanilla variety. My stomach tolerates that fairly well. I don't get any toppings, just whipped cream (which is naturally low in sugar) and nuts. And that suits the craving.
Anyway, I have so many random thoughts swirling in my head that I think I want to share on my blog. The trick is remembering to jot them down as I'm typing my monthly stories.
I am blessed that I have a loving, accepting circle of family and friends that I surround myself with. So the negative comments are few and far between now. But I wanted to show you a couple examples of very hurtful things that are said to people who are overweight.
Have a great week!
Lori
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